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' Majoring in biology, cosmetic surgery' - Michigan - Why Transfer Writing Portion

Paalexander 2 / 9  
Aug 23, 2012   #1
Describe the unique qualities that attract you to the specific undergraduate College or School to which you are applying at the University of Michigan. How would that curriculum support your interests? (500 words maximum)

University of Michigan is known for being a prestigious institution. The academics are meant to challenge students and create champions. I admire the Literature, Science, & Arts program because it creates a comfortable balance between social and academic life. For those who wish to challenge themselves more than the already extraordinary student, they can participate in the Honors Program. Furthermore, the option of joining Michigan learning communities is a valuable experience. Finding someone that shares the same interests and are on the same academic path is a sure way to succeed. The LSA program helps students come to grounds with what their niche is, offering over 100 different concentrations to go along with the chance at internships, and international opportunities.

So many people partake in the LSA program because it provides an acceptance to different communities and cultures. Being able to study abroad and indulge in theme semesters is an amazing privilege because you learn many different things through new cultural experiences. U of M holds many campuses, each offering their own taste of Ann Arbor. Downtown Ann Arbor draws in a very diverse group of people. Whether you attend the university or not, there are still great places to hang out and study; and walking on campus makes you feel like you're part of a small community even though Michigan is such a large school. Building long-lasting bonds with new people is a great thing, but being a transfer student can put you at a disadvantage in this area. University of Michigan has a number of clubs and organizations that will allow me to adjust from a community college to social campus life.

Majoring in biology with hopes to become a cosmetic surgeon means I must be disciplined and work hard. This is why University of Michigan is a great choice. Providing Undergraduate research opportunity programs not only creates a steady advancement in my intellectual progress it but also gives me a chance to truly appreciate science. The research programs will give me greater opportunities when it comes to getting accepted into medical school and grad school. I am particularly interested in U of M's changing gears program, one that gives transfer students like me the chance to dive into the world of science beyond the textbooks.
ellecc 4 / 12  
Aug 24, 2012   #2
I feel that you have said why you apply to Michigan thoroughly. That's great ! . However, I feel that your essay is not compact enough.( I am so sorry that I am an international student, so I can only give my general opinion.) Maybe you can organize it in a better way?
OP Paalexander 2 / 9  
Aug 24, 2012   #3
Thanks! Are you saying I have too uneccessary information? I stayed under their 500 word limit. What would you suggest I do?
Tennisbaby111 2 / 10  
Aug 24, 2012   #4
I think this is a great essay. The only problem for me is it needs more you. The 1st and 2nd paragraph has like one sentence on how these qualities will help you.The third paragraph is all you though, and I like that. UM already knows what unique qualites they have, that their selling point. But go in depth on how these qualities will help YOU succeed. Like in paragraph 1, go into detail on how having people with you same goal in your niche will help you succeed. Also in paragraph 2, I like where your going in your 2nd to last sentence, go into detail about that. I cant really help you with grammar because I suck at it. But I does read well and without errors.

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