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need to make it more concise (my application process to pharmacy schools)


pharmd9 2 / 8  
Jan 15, 2010   #1
How have your experiences prepared you for pharmacy school?

this is just a start, how does it sound? would really appreciate an honest opinion on the content. thanks

I was telling my pharmacist a couple days ago about my application process to pharmacy schools. "Pharmacy school is strenuous and demanding. Get ready for what is coming" she forewarned. However, my experiences during my undergraduate years have more than prepared me for the long haul. I ardently believe that the most important thing to success in pharmacy school is managing time wisely. I have mastered this well. The last few years, I handled work, commuting, extracurriculars, while also being a full time student. I found that organizing, planning, and figuring out to get the most out of one's time is the key to success.
keilinger 9 / 53  
Jan 15, 2010   #2
Your response could be greatly improved if it were more specific. Just a sentence about a particular event or activity would do.

"I ardently believe that the most important thing to success in pharmacy school is managing time wisely. I have mastered this well." <--All this can be deleted to make the writing more concise.
OP pharmd9 2 / 8  
Jan 15, 2010   #3
thanks for your help. really appreciate it. it does sound better without those two sentences.

what do you think of the opening? i was on the fence about it.
OP pharmd9 2 / 8  
Jan 15, 2010   #4
need help with the wording of this sentence

I am trying to say that because i have worked as pharmacy tech, being detail oriented, conscientious, and doubling checking my work has become second nature to me. i am trying to stay away from the word "learn" because i have used it at other points in my essay. been working on this sentence for the last 30 minutes and just can't figure out how to word it.

Further, working as a pharmacy technician, being detail-oriented and doubling checking my work has been ingrained into my work ethic.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Jan 19, 2010   #5
During the last few years, I handled work, commuting, and extracurriculars (no comma necessary here) while also being a full-time student. I found that organizing, planning, and figuring out to get the most out of one's time are the keys to success.

Are they? Or do they just represent the aspect that you are thinking about and noticing in yourself? I bet you can balance this by acknowledging later in the essay that organizational skills represent only one area of preparedness.

:-)


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