Hello,
I am applying to UT Austin as a transfer student and this is one of three essays which i need to submit. The topic is to:
Choose an issue of importance to you - the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope - and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.
I greatly appreciate your feedback.
Thank you
We make loads of junk. In a year, the average American creates about 1,600 pounds of trash. Since there are over three hundred million of us, that is an enormous amount of garbage (four hundred billion pounds per year!). It is important to me that I am accountable for my actions and decrease my impact on the environment. In addition to reducing my consumption and using environmentally sensitive products, I am also an adamant advocate of recycling.
I know people who do not recycle and I've heard every excuse imaginable. Some people say it takes too much time or it's too complicated. I have even heard people say it does more harm than good. By being informed and persistent, I attempt to educate those around me and show the benefits of recycling far outweigh any arguments against it. Foremost, I hope to demonstrate that although the issue seems huge, the actions of a single person make a big difference.
I work at a gallery in downtown Austin which produces a hefty amount of trash, most of it recyclable. When I began working at the gallery four years ago, there was no recycling program in place. At first I took the empty plastic water bottles, old magazines, junk mail, and packing materials home with me each day and made weekend trips to the recycling center on my own time.
After several months of these trips, I petitioned the building management to replace one of our two trash dumpsters with a recycling bin. Although I had to make repeated requests to the management and assemble the support of the other gallery owners, it was worth the effort: I succeeded in getting that recycling bin. Now the whole building, not just my gallery, is recycling an entire dumpster of paper, aluminum and plastic each week which used to go straight to the landfill.
I am proud to have made a positive environmental change at my workplace. It is a step in the right direction. While decreasing the amount of waste we create may seem like an overwhelming task, I know first hand that perseverance yields great results. Every single bottle, can or newspaper that gets recycled rather than buried in a landfill helps the environment. If I can convince the people I see daily to adopt a habitual attitude toward recycling, I will consider it a huge accomplishment.
I know people who do not recycle, and I have heard every excuse imaginable. Some people say it takes too much time, or it is too complicated.
At first, I took the empty plastic water bottles, old magazines, junk mail, and packing materials home with me each day and made weekend trips to the recycling center on my own time.
Other than those few errors, it looks good to me. Good luck!
This is a great, well-written, to the point essay. Good Job. Well wishes!
"I know people who do not recycle, and I have heard every excuse imaginable." you do not need this comma here since it is joined with 'and'. It flows better w/o the comma. Same for the next sentence...
Some people say it takes too much time or it'sfeel that it is too complicated. Spell out 'it is', rather than writing 'it's'.
In a single year, the average American creates about 1,600 pounds of trash.
It is important to me that I am accountable for my actions and decrease my impact on the environment.One important aspect to my life is the responsibility I feel for holding myself accountable for the impact I make on the environment.
Just some minor suggestions. Good luck!
