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What Makes Me Different? - My personal statement for American Honors

Charlotte1507 1 / -  
May 30, 2018   #1

Topic: "What makes you different?"

My name is Ngan. I am a sixteen years old girl born in Vietnam.
For the most part of my life, everything is perfect. My father is a successful engineer and a proficient CEO of a building materials and construction joint-stock company who married to a teacher. Then I have 2 annoying younger sisters whom I consider as my fondly running errand girls and I have 2 younger brothers which are twins, they are 3 years old. We live in a house full of happiness. And there are my friends. Two of them I have known since the beginning of time, or at least kindergarten and they know me better than myself. One of them that I met when I was studying at English class last year but it feels like I have known her forever. It is a perfectly normal life. Those stories like this usually start with going to the university, graduate with a good degree and then get a job providing stable income, marry a nice guy and have two or three kids, end up with living happily forever after like every typical, ordinary woman in Vietnam.

That is not my dream, my future and more importantly, that is not who I am.
For me, life is about learning and experiencing things, to be yourself and do things differently.
Since I was a little girl, I have always been curious about the ancient world, about other culture and foreign people. History and politics have had a profound impact on my outlook. From childhood, the tangible history I found in castles, museums and family photographs appealed uniquely to my imagination. As I grew up, both subjects retain their fascination for me and become a perfect platform to a more implicit understanding of the world and its future. My interest seems to be different from other students in Vietnam as nobody cares about how the parliament works, how democracy brings benefits to people and in a developing country where History and other social subjects are considered as not important as Science such as Maths, Physics, I have a strong passion and belief to change the community's stereotypes. Also, I passionate about traveling. In my perspective, immersing myself in as many cultures as I can give me the breadth of experience to make me the most effective thinker. Last year, I had an opportunity to go to to the U.S for a summer camp where I met a lot of new friends coming from many other countries. In there, I experienced a diverse environment and gained social skills. Therefore, when I came back to my hometown, I knew that America is the most suitable for me to study abroad.

I consider myself as an ambitious and competitive person. Since the first day of school, I have set my goal is to become the best and train myself to be better every day. My favorite athlete, Venus Williams once said: "I don't focus on what I'm up against. I focus on my goals and I try to ignore the rest." I take this quote as the motto of my life. For me, the pathway to success and dream is not always nice and peaceful, it comprises challenges and obstacles, and I just need to concentrate on what I believe and try my best, I could achieve my goals.

Aside from my academic pursuits, I am involved in school activities such as singing competitions and choral society. Having been interested in singing from a young age, I often enjoyed listening some artists such as Beyoncé, Whitney Houston, which ultimately motivated me to join the Glee club and the Hanoi club for singing.

Over the past few years, I have also dedicated myself to participating in various forms of charity work which has allowed me to learn a variety of previously alien skills. I worked for VEO ( Volunteer For Education) over the summer and during my tenth-grade year, I volunteered at the Department of Social Services where I helped to prepare the meals for the old people and young orphans.

This is my first essay writing about myself so hopefully, somebody will help me edit this.

Holt - / 7,529 2001  
May 31, 2018   #2
Kieu, the information in this essay does not make you different. It makes you ordinary. Just like all the other applicants for this scholarship. You have not made a stand out statement regarding something that is unique to your personality. What makes you special is a question that asks, what makes you a stand out person? It could be an activity or a talent / skill, or even, just a sense of responsibility or empathy for others. Your essay needs allow the reviewer to discover something about you that is different from other students.

For example, you were accelerated as a student to a higher level due to your higher academic requirements and abilities. Or, you participated as a representative in a government program for selected students. Even, being allowed to say, help in community service at a level beyond your age at the time of your participation. Those are examples of things that make you unique and by definition, different, as a person. The response should not be a summary of your background and ordinary everyday extra curricular and club activities. That is something you share will 100% of the applicants. It won't make you memorable in the eyes of the reviewer.

You will need to write a new essay after you have analyzed who you are, what your special activities have been, and what you academic, social, and personal accomplishments are that some people might think would make you a different kind of applicant.

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