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What makes YOU unique? point to specific qualities, hobbies, interests, talents..


jawad noah 1 / 4  
Mar 29, 2012   #1
I would view myself as a unique for my passion for knowledge, as I have a desire to know more about the computer world, in which I want to be an innovator. Besides I am a meticulous person, who strives for perfection and excellence likes to go over everything to the finest detail, and want to succeed in every task I am given. Also, I am open minded about new ideas and enthusiastic about learning and exploring new cultures.

jgordony 1 / 2  
Apr 2, 2012   #2
Give some examples. Describe some of the tasks you have gone over in the finest detail and done perfectly. Describe your passion for knowledge. For example "I went to my local college and found a professor that taught me about writing code and building programs."

Basically ask yourself How and Why all these are important and build a complete answer with that.
OP jawad noah 1 / 4  
Apr 4, 2012   #3
Here is another version of my essay, please tell me what u think , it has to be < 100 words ,

thank you very much :

"I would view myself as a unique for my passion for knowledge, as I have a desire to know more about the computer world, in which I want to be an innovator. I download ebooks that teach me software developing. Besides I am a meticulous person, who strives for perfection and excellence likes to go over everything to the finest detail, and want to succeed in every task I am given. In fact, when going through source code I try to check any error or spelling mistake .Also, I am open minded about new ideas and enthusiastic about learning and exploring new cultures."
kimuratakuya 10 / 32  
Apr 11, 2012   #4
You essay is a little scattered. You have maken the claim that you are unique because you are passionate learner, then you should give strong analysis or examples to support this . However,In the essay above, after gving the claim, you do not give enough evidence to support it but discuss other things such as 'meticulousness', which i can see few relations with your passion.
zogi maral 2 / 12  
Apr 11, 2012   #5
please give me some examples, I am lost

thanks
EF_Susan - / 2,365 12  
Apr 11, 2012   #6
"I would view myself as unique/ a unique and determined individual for my passion for knowledge, as(end sentence). I have a desire to know more about computer science and engineering, in whichfor in this field I want to be an innovator. I am a meticulous person, who strives for perfection and excellence and likes to go over everything to the finest detail, and (end sentence). In fact, when going through source code I try to check any error or spelling mistake partly because of my meticulous nature, but also to sharpen my knowledge and focus of becoming an expert....(I threw that in because I thought it sounded good but I am not you, so I could be wrong) I also have a bigstrong desire about learning new cultures and am open to new ideas."

Well, you have put forth your desire and intentions in a nice way. I made a few simple revisions which I hope you will find useful. I don't know if this assignment was intended for you to write at a specific length but either way, I think you should add some content and definitely close with a stronger summarizing statement. Good job and good luck. Have fun in school! :)
study abroad - / 3  
Apr 12, 2012   #7
Hi EF_Susan,

thank you very much, it was very helpful,

sorry I forgot to mention the words length which is <100

Please help me to shorten the essay

best regards
prc 1 / 5  
Apr 12, 2012   #8
Susan added this for you
partly because of my meticulous nature, but also to sharpen my knowledge and focus of becoming an expert

So you might want to remove
I am a meticulous person, who strives for perfection and excellence and likes to go over everything to the finest detail,

I also have a big desire about learning new cultures and open to new ideas.
This is not good. If you want to show you're really interested in your new environment, mention something to show you've done some research on the culture.

Otherwise maybe remove that and replace with a strong closing sentence that emphasizes your main theme.

And what is the essay question btw?
study abroad - / 3  
Apr 13, 2012   #9
Thank you Rachapong,

the essay question is : "What makes YOU unique? Please point to specific qualities, hobbies, interests, or talents that highlight your personality and goals."

best regards


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