You have already told us about yourself in the Common Application, with its list of activities, the Short Answer, and the Personal Essay. While we leave the topic of your second essay entirely up to you, try telling us something about yourself that you believe we cannot learn elsewhere in your application. Please limit yourself to fewer than 500 words.
For as long as humans have roamed the Earth, they have depended on each other for survival. Families in particular have had the tightest bonds and have normally looked out for each other's safety. However, in this day and age, divorce rates are skyrocketing and families are being permanently split apart. I know this firsthand as my parents have lived over 500 miles away from each other for more than 13 years. From age four until age thirteen, I lived with my mother in the Los Angeles area, taking in what I could from her parenting. After, I moved to Marin to learn a different set of ideals from my father. As I have not been able to rely on my parents for a bipartisan approach to all of the problems I have faced in my life thus far, I have become much more independent and self-motivated than I would have been with my parents still together and have been able to communicate my skills with others.
My younger brother has followed the same path as I have in terms of parent swapping and has had a great deal of success in high school and life in the process. While I accredit much of his success to our parents, he has more often looked to me for guidance than them. My experiences in high school have given me the tools not only necessary to learn, but also to teach. My brother understands this well, and takes advantage of my knowledge at any opportunity. As he experiences very similar issues as he ages, he can connect to me much more than our parents. I love and wish to help him in any way possible so, it has been necessary for me to step up as leader and direct him in the right path.
Many of my friends have taken their parent's divorce wrongly and often have trust issues with their peers. They frequently associate the divorce with themselves and become introverted, confiding in only themselves with matters which would be easily resolved with little assistance. Because I was so young when my parents got divorced, I have had many years to understand the implications of the divorce and that it was out of my control. Some would say that parents who separate are erratic and have poor judgment, as they should have spent more time on such a life changing decision. I, however, understand that feelings and situations change over time and am affected by my parents' divorce in a completely different way as a result.
While I cannot say that I recommend divorces, I can say that with an open mindset one can make the best of a bad situation. Reflecting on my parents' divorce, I have definitely learned a few extremely important life skills as a result. While maintaining the same trust in others that many of my friends have, I have become very self-reliant and driven. Still, I am able to differentiate between when I can grow as a student or person in general by completing tasks on my own and when I legitimately need help. I understand that people often make mistakes and am more careful because of my understanding.
It is a little too long, so if anyone has any tips on something I should take out or amend, it would be greatly appreciated!
Thanks!
Danny
waow, this is a very good essay. Your topic certainly reflect your life.
But here is some advice to make it better.
First of all, as i said, this essay reflect your life well. but what about you? your life is what you have experienced, yet what they want to know is how you feel all way along. try to say that. (do you know why i said that? as a single child in a single family, i understand what you have been through. However, someone once told me the most important part is not you experienced physically, it's the mental part.)
and also, try to make your sentence shorter. I kind of lost in the 3-line sentence in the first paragraph.
one last thing, if you want to cut, cut the first paragraph. I'm not going to suggest what to cut, but it would definitely be the first paragraph.
angela
I see the world you come from very clearly, but I still cannot quite grasp the overall purpose or the central question: what about this is a part of you? The essay left me asking, so what? Everything else seems solid. Good job! and if you have time, help me revise an essay due in two days eeeeek:
My brother understands this well, and takes advantage of my knowledge at every opportunity.
I love and wish to help him in any way possible, so it has been necessary for me to step up as leader and direct him in the right path.
Many of my friends have taken their parent's divorce wrongly and often have trust issues with their peers. They frequently associate the divorce with themselves and become introverted, keeping to themselves matters which would be easily resolved with little assistance.
I understand that people often make mistakes and am more careful because of this understanding.
Good luck in school!!:)
