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'Malaysia and Taekwondo' - Personal Statement - For UCAS (UK universities)

metalstriker 6 / 16  
Oct 28, 2012   #1
Hey guys. There are no specific instruction for this personal statement, except for the word limit (barely made it). Please help me out with your reviews. Thx.

Every time I read a science-fiction book of watch a sci-fi movie, I get exhilarated at the mention of an extraordinary tool or a technologically-advanced machine. Throughout the years, these books are still under the science-FICTION category. The prospect of making the world in these books come to life and inventing objects the likes of which the world has never seen before has always propelled me to choose engineering.

Many of my first inventions were from a mechanical kit my dad got me. Not only did I build a structure each night, I modified many of them. The stationary crane now had wheels, and in place of a hook, there was an electromagnet. I submitted the crane as my primary school science project and got full marks for it.

Currently, I am building a basic differential drive robot using the photovore algorithm capable of basic object avoidance. When I first spotted the site that offered instruction on robot-building, I was geared up to begin at that very instant. I set to work immediately. It was lucky for me that the site advised against grand ideas of creativity for those building robots for the first time because in my head, I was thinking of creating robots capable of such great feats that may even put ASIMO to shame. Even with all my enthusiasm, it was a couple of weeks before I finally had all the equipment. As it turned out, building a robot for the first time was no easy achievement.

Some time ago, at home, when my family and I were packing our bags for a vacation, I noticed that we had to carry many heavy things up and down the stairs. I decided to install a pulley system on the top of the stairs. A big basket was tied to the end of the string. Though it could not be used for extremely heavy items, over the years, it saved us a lot of time and effort. Once, when I was President of the GAWPS Juniors (a community club for teenagers), there were many instances when, under pressure, I had to think of solutions and ideas for certain events. Since many of these events were major ones, my committee and I had to see things in a different perspective to ensure a certain task was completed to the best of our abilities in a certain time frame.

In my spare time, I explore the 'Fabric of the Cosmos' (a book by physicist Brian Greene) to unravel the mysteries of space, time and its theories. Reading this book and being President of the GAWPS Juniors has made my thinking very flexible. I also constantly read up latest news of the scientific society and watch MIT science lectures online. Apart from that, I also enjoy documentaries of engineering feats, production lines and the Universe. Also, ever since realising the importance of computing, I have been self-teaching myself XHTML and the programming language of Python.

Acedemically, I am an above average student with consistent A grades throughout my schooling experience. I enjoy my A-Level subjects (physics, mathematics, further maths and chemistry) and try to apply them to daily life. Since these subjects are interlinked and complement each other in certain ways, it is as though these combination of subjects are one whole. I find it interesting to note how they relate to each other and through that relation, I discover that my understanding of a particular topic increases. I have participated in the Malaysian National Chemistry Quiz and in University of New South Wales' International School Competition (Science and English).

When I am free, I juggle, go jogging or practice taekwondo. Taekwondo has been a part of my life since I was seven. I am currently a black belt (1st Dan) holder and am waiting for the next test sitting. I also play badminton, tennis, chess and football. I have won several football and archery tournaments over the years.

I look forward to experience university life which would enhance my creativity and thinking skills so as to put forward new ideas and theories.
ellisdee 2 / 4  
Nov 14, 2012   #2
The beginning of this essay in quite captivating however, what are you planning to study?

UK universities often choose candidates with a clear future in mind and although you touched on the science aspect, you need to specify which area (especially as you went onto 'creativity').

The application of your talents though, is good.
When you start to go on about your achievements, I feel it drag a bit on.

Look on the LSE website, they provide clear insights on what they deem to be exemplar Personal Statements.
OP metalstriker 6 / 16  
Nov 15, 2012   #3
Well, I'm planning to study mechanical engineering. Do you think I should mention that in the statement?
Also, my lecturers recommended me to put down the achievements. Is there anyway. Could make this sound more exciting? This statement was written in the middle of my a levels. Since I've finished it now, I suppose I should give the results. Also, I've taken the SATs. Do you think I should put that down as well?

There is a slight problem, the statement is almost at the limit of no. of characters. Which parts should I cut down?

Thx so much for the feedback.

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