"Man creates art; art creates man."
I was never the theatre geek in my family. I thought I was shy and awkward. I could have never pictured myself onstage, much less singing and dancing in front of hundreds of people. In my sophomore year of high school, in our school production of "Xanadu", I played Danny McGuire, an old washed-up orchestra leader turned construction mogul. In the struggle of developing this character as an actor, my personality developed from the shy, introverted person I was into the vibrant, fearless person I am now.
My family has always been a "theatre family". My mother and sisters had always been involved with our local theatre, performing in musicals that my father and I inevitably had to attend. In my freshman year of high school, my older sister, a senior at the time, made me promise I would audition for the school play. I reluctantly agreed, and when the day of the audition came, I grumbled through the entire process, and eventually landed a spot in the ensemble. I somewhat enjoyed rehearsals, learning songs and mimicking the simple choreography we had. I had fun performing with my sister, but I didn't think I would go back the next year after she left for college.
In my sophomore year, one of the seniors who I had performed with the year prior asked if I was going to audition for the school musical this year. I told her I wasn't planning on it, but I would think about it. It was not until the director talked to me personally and told me he wanted me to play Danny McGuire in "Xanadu". Being one of four boys in the entire drama department, it was not particularly challenging to get cast as a leading role. Danny McGuire is an old character, aging somewhere between 55 and 65. As the baby of the bunch, I felt uncomfortable playing a part where I had to act like I was decades older than the main characters, characters played by a senior boy and girl. During rehearsal one afternoon, we were rehearsing the scene where Danny is introduced to the audience, playing him up as the hard-headed boss of a large company. When we rehearsed that scene, I could never get it right. The director told me I was being too shy, and that I wasn't playing the part, just reading the lines. He told me to "just go for it", and I did. Over the course of our 3-month rehearsal period, I had changed Danny from the push-over doormat I had been playing him as to the egotistic company head that he was supposed to be. What I didn't notice was that as Danny changed, Ryan changed too. I became more confident, more expressive onstage. After each performance, I had classmates come up to me and tell me that I looked so natural onstage, and that I was not the shy, awkward person they had come to know me as.
For me, theatre was an artistic approach to self-discovery: a way for who I was to become acquainted with the person I will be. I'd like to think that being shy and introverted made the transition to the real me so much more prominent. Change was long overdue, and my true self was waiting in the wings, ready as ever.
Sorry, I think there is no hook in your beginning paragraph.It is so straightforward. don't tell, use story to show. why not try to use your title in your beginning paragraph to imply how art change you.
try to write more details about your thinking in the story. It is little bit too sudden that I have that confidence.
I hope these two suggestions will be helplful
In the struggle of developing this character as an actor, my personality developed from the shy, introverted person I was into the vibrant, fearless person I am now.
While struggling with the character I somehow found myself as more vibrant and fearless than an introverted timid guy.
I somewhat enjoyedthe rehearsals, learning songs and ...
Try to elaborate more about your journey as a character on stage not about how you get to participate in it. You can abridge that part and write more about how the on stage character changed your life because that's what you mentioned in the intro but did not explained much.
What I didn't notice was that as Danny changed, Ryan changed too.
Elaborate this part how Danny changed and how it affected your personality as an individual.
Here is my REALLY rough second draft. Thank you for helping me out!
"Man creates art. Art creates man." I never understood what my director meant at the first rehearsal of my high school "career" in theatre. I brushed it off with the thought that he was just some philosophical nut job who decided to direct a high school theatre production. What I didn't know was that each character I assumed throughout high school, my personality changed from a reserved, cowardly boy into the poised, passionate young adult I am today.
I was never the theatre geek in my family. I thought I was shy and awkward. I could have never pictured myself onstage, much less singing and dancing in front of hundreds of people. In my sophomore year of high school, in our school production of "Xanadu", I played Danny McGuire, an old washed-up orchestra leader turned construction mogul. Since Danny and I were polar opposites personality-wise, I had to step out of my comfort zone to play the role well. While struggling with the character, I found myself becoming more outgoing and confident rather than timid and introverted.
My family has always been a "theatre family". My mother and sisters had always been involved with our local theatre, performing in musicals that my father and I inevitably had to attend. In my freshman year of high school, my older sister, a senior at the time, made me promise I would audition for the school play. I reluctantly agreed, and when the day of the audition came, I grumbled through the entire process, and eventually landed a spot in the ensemble. I somewhat enjoyed rehearsals, learning songs and mimicking the simple choreography we had. I had fun performing with my sister, but I didn't think I would go back my sophomore year after she left for college.
As one of four boys in the entire drama department, it was not particularly challenging to get cast as a leading role in a show. Danny McGuire is an old character, aging somewhere between 55 and 65. As the baby of the bunch, I felt uncomfortable playing a part where I had to act like I was decades older than the main characters, characters played by a senior boy and girl. Having to portray a character with which you don't relate is a daunting task for any actor, even more so for a mere sophomore in high school. "Getting into character" should be simple enough for any actor, but for an inexperienced thespian like myself, even that was challenging.
There was no way I could be successful in playing Danny if I could not get past the doubt I had in my acting ability. I had to muster up every ounce of confidence that was hiding in the deepest crevices of my soul and force them out. Each day I had to exert all my energy into building my confidence and belief in my ability to play Danny. I began to blossom into a strong force onstage, like a butterfly emerging from its cocoon. Reassurance from my cast mates and director helped me sustain my newfound spark and confidence in myself: if I believed it, the audience would believe it. This attitude perpetuated long after the show was over; I hit the ground running and never stopped.
For me, theatre was an artistic approach to self-discovery: a way for who I was to become acquainted with the person I will be. Because of theatre, my personality offstage has become more personable, enthusiastic, and genuine: I exhibit emotion like I never did before, and I am much more comfortable in my own skin. I'd like to think that being shy and introverted made the transition to the real me so much more prominent. I have transformed into the mature, young man I was meant to be. Change was long overdue, and my true identity was waiting in the wings, ready for its turn in the spotlight.
