Unanswered [11] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 3

Mandarin, Burmese, Tagalog, Cambodian, Russian, Spanish - Extracurricular Activity


mclark13 8 / 7 5  
Dec 31, 2013   #1
I needed to expand of one of my extracurricular activities for Stanford and Columbia- I wrote about my job at Panda Express, but I'm worried it may be too ambiguous. Thoughts? Will critique back!

Mandarin, Burmese, Tagalog, Cambodian, Russian, Spanish. Foreign phoenetics fill my ears as I scoop the last of the orange chicken onto a plate.
"Orange chicken, waiting!"
My call is met with hurried steps and banging pans. We may all speak different languages, but the message is clear. I hand an Israeli man his food, thank him for his business, and wish him well. Put away the fresh batch of chicken. Repeat.

In a workplace environment that draws interest from people of many cultures, I have the opportunity to learn about other parts of the world in ways I couldn't at school. We all come from different places, with different backgrounds, yet all of our stories have led us here. Whether it's a brief interaction, or an anecdote in a heavy accent, I am able to see the entire world from the other side of the cash register.

help_p 1 / 1 1  
Dec 31, 2013   #2
Your essay is very interesting and it immediately drew me in.
Maybe you briefly describe how you interact with workers?
Other than that its very well-written essay. Nice job!
blazerd123 5 / 7 3  
Jan 1, 2014   #3
mclark13
I needed to expand of one of my extracurricular activities for Stanford and Columbia- I wrote about my job at Panda Express, but I'm worried it may be too ambiguous. Thoughts? Will critique back!

Mandarin, Burmese, Tagalog, Cambodian, Russian, Spanish. Foreign phoeneticsphonetics fill my ears as I scoop the last of the orange chicken onto a plate.
"Orange chicken, waiting!"
My call is met with hurried steps and banging pans. We may all speak different languages, but the message is clear. I hand an Israeli man his food, thank him for his businessTime"business" comes off as being too straightforward and not being concerned with the actual person, but what they can offer you, a quality they may attribute to you. , and wish him well.

Put away the fresh batch of chicken. Repeat.not needed seemes to only serve the purpose of filling in word count and "Repeat." gives off the impression that you don't enjoy your job

In a workplace environment that draws interest from people of many cultures, I have the opportunity to learn about other parts of the world in ways I couldn't at school.Working at Panda Express-an environment that draws the interest of people from many cultures- I have the opportunity to learn about other parts of the world in ways I couldn't at school.As a result of my interactions with the diverse culture in Panda Express, i have come to the realization thatw e all come from different places, with different backgrounds, but yet all of our storiesexperiences have led us here. Whether it's a brief interaction, or an anecdote in a heavy accent, I am able to see the entire world from the other side of the cash register.


Home / Undergraduate / Mandarin, Burmese, Tagalog, Cambodian, Russian, Spanish - Extracurricular Activity