I heard my essays must "jump off the page." How do I do that? What should I write?
When someone is really inspired about something, their ideas have a kind of freshness and a compelling quality that people can only describe in a poetic way, such as "it jumps of the page."
But what does that really mean? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so I guess excellent writing is in the eye of the reader. But we can't help feeling impressed, no matter who we are, when we see an essay that expresses a clear plan... something somebody is really trying to do.
Your essay shows that you, like many students, are interested in marine biology. You can distinguish yourself by showing that you are different from the others. Use 3 paragraphs for this instead of writing it all in one long paragraph, and at the end of the first paragraph give a sentence that you would write if you were only allowed to write one sentence for this whole essay. What would that sentence be? Whatever it is, it will become the theme for your essay if you put it at the end of the first paragraph.
In paragraph 2 it would be great to write about books and articles you you have read (written by marine biologists) and also some professors at this school with whom you'd like to study. Write paragraph 2 all about the resources you will use at this school and the goals you have for the future.
Do not waste any sentences stating simplistic, obvious things like this:
Getting a B.S. in Marine Biology there would provide a strong foundation for a successful graduate degree.---- too obvious. Use all your paragraphs to express your plan for using th resources at this school.
By the way, you could help a lot of people in this forum; your writing is better than you think! :-) please spend a few minutes helping other people with their essays on the "Unanswered" list... especially people struggling to learn the English language.
:-)