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MASS. College of Pharmacy and healtcare Suggestions?


stars11 1 / 13  
Feb 1, 2010   #1
Write about MCPHS, why you're applying and what made you decide your intended major in 250 words or less

When I was five years old, my mother died of breast cancer. A few years later, my father died of prostate cancer. Although their deaths were untimely and unfortunate, there was a positive outcome: their deaths piqued my interest in science, specifically biology and genetics. It is because of my parents that I want to become a physician. I want to gain the satisfaction of helping other people that are affected by illnesses-I can empathize with them because of personal experience and prove to them that they are not alone in their distress. I want to be able to create a difference in people's lives by supporting them after they have been diagnosed or working as researcher so that one day, a cure for their illnesses can be found. Massachusetts College of Pharmacy and Health Sciences is the ideal place for my education not only because of its strong science background, but also because of its location. In my town in New Jersey, I am constantly surrounded by the usual people and typical activities to choose from. As a result, my town and experiences become very mundane. Boson, on the other hand, is an animated and bustling city; thus, I know that at MCPHS, I would always be surrounded by many intriguing and diverse people. This exposure can provide me with a broader perspective of people and the world, which I can apply in the future as a physician when trying to connect with my patients and their families.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Feb 3, 2010   #2
not alone in their distress.

Right here is the powerful part where you show the reader the significance of their deaths to your decision to enter the health care field. End the paragraph here, so that this point lingers in the reader's mind... and also because it is important to use paragraphs!

paragraph 2:
I want to be able to create a difference in people's... --- this is a strong start for a paragraph! So, without changing any words, we improve the message by doing a simple paragraph break..

You left the t out of boston.

:-) Nice job, is there room to write more so that the reader knows a little about your philosophy of health care?


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