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Math&Finance programs/Asian Bilingual Debate; U Michigan-Unique qualities/ Community


lexyliu1209 4 / 14 2  
Jan 13, 2013   #1
Hey my lovely essay forum pals~~I am about to send out the u of michigan application. Can anyone tell me whether these two pieces are good to go? Or is there anything I have to improve, in grammar or content?? Thank you!!

Describe the unique qualities that attract you to the specific undergraduate College or School (including preferred admission and dual degree programs) to which you are applying at the University of Michigan. How would that curriculum support your interests? (500 words maximum)

I traveled a lot. I have breezed the fresh air and climbed the skyscrapers in the most developed cities like Shanghai, Toronto, and Singapore. I have walked on the muddy road and visited the most indigenous villages in rural Shingri-La in Southwest China. In Shanghai, five dollar can only buy a cup of coffee, but in Shingri-La, the same amount could help a family to live for a week Like many developing regions in the world, China is facing an immediate social problem, where the benefits of rocketing economic development is notoriously skewed to the richest class. Witnessing the great giant between the different social classes has greatly stricken my heart and made me ponder over this question: how can we help narrow this gap and help reduce the social and economic inequality?

Luckily I find mathematics. Mathematics holds the key to answer many questions about the world around us, especially in finance. From things as simple as making a family budget, to more complex ones like estimating market prospect, the application of mathematics is everywhere. Global wise, math tool is widely applied by economists in IMF or World Bank to rate the national financial status and adjust policies accordingly. How to use the magical power of mathematics to help eliminate the national inequality is what I am eager to learn by pursuing an undergraduate degree at University of Michigan.

Owning one of the largest math programs in the country, College of Literature, Sciences, and Arts(LSA)offers one-of-a-kind education that combines learning, researching, and practicing as an integrated whole.

In teaching, the Department of Mathematics offers perhaps the most comprehensive list of courses one can find in a math program. Students are able to select among the five concentrations to prepare themselves with a solid foundation both in theories and in practice. I am especially interested in courses that explains the application of mathematics in finance, such as "Risk Management and Insurance". Besides the core curriculum in math, I would also like to investigative my broad interests in Economics, Psychology and Sociology, to help me understand the pressing global issues such as poverty and discrimination more thoroughly and profoundly.

In researching, the department's "Research Experience for Undergraduates(REU)" program attracted me a lot. In high school, being the leader in various student science projects, I enjoy the process of learning through practicing. I cannot wait to join REU program to work closely with faculty members for eight weeks in summer, for it will be a precious experience not only to learn the essential lab skills in formative researches, but also to train my persistent will in bearing any hardship in future.

In practicing, U-M offers a wide array of internship and volunteer opportunities around globe to equip students with essential working skills before graduation while at the same time enrich their global perspective. I hope I can have an opportunity to intern with international NGOs or large charitable foundations, to learn how they managed to address poverty and inequality in the underprivileged parts of the world.

Given the opportunity and the proper learning environment, I am confident I can achieve all the goals I set for myself. With the University of Michigan's long-standing reputation as a top science and engineering institute, this would be a perfect match.

Everyone belongs to many different communities and/or groups defined by (among other things) shared geography, religion, ethnicity, income, cuisine, interest, race, ideology, or intellectual heritage. Choose one of the communities to which you belong, and describe that community and your place within it. (Approximately 250 words)

Brainstorming, researching, arguing, defending. This four words basically summarized a big part of my high school life when I serve as the leader in the school debate team.

July 11th, ,2011. It was the day when we were notified to represent China in the Asian Bilingual Debate. But the initial feeling of excitement was soon replaced by nervousness when we found out that our opponents were highly trained and bilingually competent. I know, the only way to build up confidence and to win is to work even harder. So every day we would group together, practicing English speech skills by imitating every tone, pause and rhythm of the most influential speeches. I remember the night before the first round qualification; we brought our sleeping bags to the study room so we can work at midnight and then rest for 2 or 3 hours before the contest. However we did not even use it! We stayed awake for almost 28 hours continuously to refine and rehearse. Fortunately, it all paid off as our performance was highly praised by the judges and there we became the only Chinese team in the top 4. Now, those days of arduous training has made me realize what I firmly love about debate: it is the excitement when I can use words to make a impact. The passions about life and desire to contribute to the world unite us as a big family. Our debate team is where I belong and I truly appreciate every minute being in it.

Jennyflower81 - / 690 96  
Jan 13, 2013   #2
I have breezed the fresh air and climbed the skyscrapers in the most developed cities like Shanghai, Toronto, and Singapore.
I think this is a bit contradictory, because busy cities are not usually associated with fresh air.. maybe you could change the wording of this sentence.

Like many developing regions in the world, China is facing an immediateurgent social problem, where the benefits of a rocketing economydevelopment is notoriously skewed to the richest class.

Witnessing the great giant schism between the different social classes has greatly stricken my heart and made me ponder over this question...

Mathematics holds the key to answering many questions about the world around us (maybe say it is the key to many solutions)

How to use the magical power of mathematics to help eliminate the national inequality is what I am eager to learn by pursuing an undergraduate degree at University of Michigan.


You could say it like this: "My goal is to pursue mathematics as an undergraduate at U Michigan because I am eager to use math to solve the problem of national inequality."


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