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'Math teamwork' - Short Common App EC Paragraph (Math)

michaelmas 1 / -  
Jan 5, 2012   #1
Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum).

Ironically, teamwork was the last thing I expected when I joined the math team. My experiences from middle school led me to believe that math was an individual activity, loosely using the term "team" to combine points at the end. As a freshman, the towering figures of senior members intimidated me at the first meeting but it wasn't long until I realized that such terror was nothing but a misconception. The upperclassmen accepted everyone with open arms into a culture that spoke a common language of mathematics. Two years later as the newly appointed captain, this experience as a freshman was exactly what I wanted to continue. In response to a shortage of members, I consulted with division coordinators to gather interest from underclassmen. I developed workshops that were interactive and centered on peer teaching. Such encounters have shown me that there is much more to team management than simple arithmetic, a function with many variables that may not be solvable with just mathematics.

I'm at exactly 1000 characters. Any suggestions, corrections, or omissions? Thank you!
Cleopatra 8 / 22  
Jan 5, 2012   #2
It sounds very intelligent however you contradict yourself. At first you say you didn't believe in teamwork but at the end you conclude with "there is much more to team management" where it should be "there is much more to the math team than simple arithmetic/individual accomplishments"

you should consider focusing on one angle, how you evolved into a team player or how you went onto the team ready to help and improve.

Also, omit wasn't and replace with "was not", contractions are a big NONO for college essays!
I also think you should add "As a high school freshman" to make it more clear, the reader might be unsure if you were talking about high school or middle school.

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