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I want to matriculate at Yale: Engineering Essay!


cocoalocox12x 1 / -  
Dec 9, 2012   #1
The world is filled with strings.
I am not talking about string theory. Rather, the strings I am referring to are the invisible forces which govern our every movement.
I was always so interested in taking things apart and trying to understand the function of each piece. I would often do so without thinking about my own safety. In third grade, I tried to open a disposable camera and ended up electrocuting myself. My dad used to call me 'the Destroyer' because he would constantly find masses of coils and gears in my room.

When I was in fourth grade, my science teacher introduced my class to Rube Goldberg. This inventor and cartoonist was famous for creating elaborate systems which accomplished simple tasks. I spent days poring over his cartoons, marveling at the intricacy and creativity of his designs.

At the end of the unit, our teacher asked us to produce our own Rube Goldberg invention. For a week, I let my mind roam free as I drew pages upon pages of actions and reactions. When I presented my project to the class, I wowed my teachers by throwing around words such as 'centripetal force' and 'kinetic energy'. Though it seemed like I knew what I was talking about, I really had no idea why anything worked.

Physics in high school opened my eyes. The rules of the universe were now at my disposal. I could now see the invisible strings that held our world together. Once, my physics teacher showed our class a Honda commercial using the Rube Goldberg method. This time, with my newfound knowledge, I found myself even more captivated. I could see the weight, friction, and torque at work. It was as if the equations were right next to each mechanism. At that moment, the world became so simple. I felt in control. I decided then that I wanted to learn more. I wanted to understand the world so that I could not only enjoy life, but also improve upon it. I wanted to be an engineer.

I want to matriculate at Yale, where the university fosters a culture of innovation. Yale is my top choice because the college combines a high caliber education with unparalleled research opportunities. First, the numerous labs within Yale allow each student to easily procure a space for conducting research. With the college's amazing 1:1 student to faculty ratio, I would be able to actively consult with some of the world's leading experts. In addition, Yale's Center for Engineering Innovation and Design would allow me to pursue a more creative approach to my education. Finally, Yale's Engineers without Borders would allow me to take my knowledge and use it to help the world. Overall, I am attracted to Yale because of the extraordinary care it places on its underclassmen. In this environment, I would be able to maximize my productivity and graduate prepared to serve our community.
sarthakjain 19 / 58  
Dec 12, 2012   #2
your descriptive language is good, but the problem is you need to be more specific about why you want to pursue engineering at yale. starting 4th para, I didn't feel any passion and it appeared a little mundane. Try improving upon the sentence structure in that last para. that's my opinion anyway.


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