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What matters to you, and why? (250 word limit.)
The burning sensation of noodles (loaded with Tabasco Hot Sauce), the gooey texture of fudge, the soothing relief of a sip of tomato soup: the eclectic range of sensation that can be delivered through food. Yet, my cooking is unorthodox, to say the least...Some have claimed that my cooking is so good that I can cook one-minute noodles in 58 seconds. Does it always turn out tasting good? Absolutely not! I was no cooking connoisseur by any standards. In fact, everyone who eats any of my food relishes the days, few and far between as they may be, where food is edible.
Yet, the enjoyment of the final product is only a small piece of the reward: the rest lay in the journey itself. Despite the great emphasis placed upon results, whether it be in food or research, the true joy earned lies in the pursuit of these results rather than their attainment, for which I immerse myself fully into my own "Pursuit of Happiness." The journey espouses a sense of exploration and creativity, where I choose whichever direction I wish to pursue, for better or, as is in the case of my cooking, for worse. However, this is what matters to me: to be given a choice, options for exploration rather than a preordained route of action to follow. Even if there is a single apparent route of action, I will carve my own and follow that instead. The creativity I have, which matters most to me, transforms my black-and-white world into one of color. Yet, more importantly, it imbues me with the ability to cook all my world-renowned dishes.
It is very well written. Again, I like the way you use a simple hobby or interest and turn it into something meaningful. Content wise I feel is very good,
sentence structure, and grammar is great. Overall well written!
Well, the promp does not say what matters most, so you don't have to limit yourself to just one thing. I agree with Denise, although (or maybe becaus) it's something quite banal, you make it importent to yourself. Two ideas I have:
"(loaded with Tabasco Hot Sauce)" - this part doesn't really help your point and disturbes the flow. I would delete it
"the true joy earned lies" - the earned confuses me a bit, it doesn't seem to have a function in this phrase.
"However, this is what matters to me: to be given a choice, options for exploration rather than a preordained route of action to follow" - I would make a period after choice to make your main point more clear and then make a new sentence with the second part
"which matters most to me" - this part is redundant, and may even be a bit confusing. I would also think about deleting it.
But thats minor stuff, all in all I really like your essay.
