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My mattress ; Common App ; Environment - perfectly content


loreneli113 1 / -  
Oct 16, 2013   #1
This is the common app prompt
DESCRIBE A PLACE OR ENVIRONMENT WHERE YOU ARE PERFECTLY CONTENT. WHAT DO YOU DO OR EXPERIENCE THERE, AND WHY IS IT MEANINGFUL TO YOU?
I know there are mistakes, but I was wondering if the actual place that I chose is too typical. Here's the essay, I am not done yet.

There lies a place hidden beneath an array of worn t-shirts, hooded sweatshirts, and several half-pairs of lonely socks. Beside it lay a night-stand cluttered with bottles of nail polish, paperclips, and a phone charger, in addition to my handy TI-Inspire, always fully charged and complacently waiting for another integral to be entered and resolved. A book shelf filled with the works of Charlotte Bronte, Lewis Carroll, and Edith Hamilton towers over this blissful spot. Underneath it lay graded worksheets stemming from my years in middle school and even more half-pairs of socks awaiting to be reunited with their one and only companion. This companion, of course, must lay atop this euphoric place, or just simply lost in what I call my closet. Only I can understand the organized chaos that surrounds my Serta mattress, which ironically makes it the perfect place for relaxation, focusing on my studies, and just about everything else. Absolutely nothing makes me more content than coming home from school and laying upon what others call a mess, or what I consider to be a hodgepodge of all things that make me unique. A t-shirt emblazoned with the periodic table of elements lies in one corner, and SAT vocabulary word flash cards lay in the other. This sixty by eighty inch piece of foam and spring has and forever will be my top choice for experiencing absolute bliss, for nothing compares to taking a mid-day siesta or reading a literary masterpiece atop this heavenly creation. No matter the issue, whether I'm utterly upset or wholly furious, this marvelous quilted top gem acts as a safe haven from the surrounding world.

I experience absolute comfort and serenity of the mind whenever I am atop of my mattress. There exists such a place for every individual, a place where they can feel perfectly content and experience comfort. It is of my belief that being content is being at absolute peace, it is the ability to experience a satisfactory sense of happiness. I am the type of person who becomes content as a result of pure rest and relaxation, for I have never been one to gain my happiness from sheer adrenaline nor being constantly on-the-move. I have always been one to lay down and relax, versus having my day filled to the brim with activities that encompass all of my time. An hour of rest atop of my bed provides me with the utmost peace and joy. My mattress exemplifies all that is me and it is the epitome of comfort.
yumandragore 3 / 12 4  
Oct 16, 2013   #2
Well written but yes, maybe too typical, not "catchy" enough... Every teenager's room is pictured in most adults minds (and therefore admissions officers minds) like yours. We all have a bed we love, books, nailpolish, messy shirts... etc. I think that if you want to write about your room without it being too typical, you need to find something that only you would write about it. I'm not saying pretend you have a magical invisible portal to another universe on your wall, but just ask yourself if there was a survey held asking people "do you like your room and why?" if they wouldn't answer the exact same thing. If you can find an answer that you're absolutely certain no one else would have, an answer that, if heard by a family member or a friend of yours, they'll know right away it's you and not any one of the million people surveyed, then you know you're in the right track!

I'm also trying to get help with my common app essay, I'm an international applying very very soon. Any help would be appreciated, and good luck to all of us!
Foriya 2 / 12 7  
Oct 16, 2013   #3
The bedroom scenario as a place of absolute peace is quite typical.It would help if you could find some place that would make you essay standout among other writers on this prompt.Or you can present your essay in a unique form while focusing less on the chaos and bringing in more imagery and you emphasize why this haven is meaningful to you.

I hope this helps.Good luck :)


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