May 3rd, 1998 -- Pepperdine Essay

Pepperdine's scholarly community equips students with a liberal arts education anchored in Christian values. Our commitment to integrating faith and learning challenges our students to understand that the gift of knowledge ultimately calls for a life of service. With this commitment in mind, please respond:

Tell us how the integration of faith and learning can prepare you for a life of service, and discuss the impact service-learning can have on the renewing of your mind, spirit, and community.

"It was He who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up" (Eph. 4:11-12)

November 20th 1992, the day I was born, was the day I stepped hesitantly into a world of uncertainty. As a newborn child, I was confused and uncertain about where I was or what awaited me in the future. But being born was the first unconscious decision I made that said I was up to the challenge of living, ready to take anything that life threw at me.

May 3rd 1998, the day I was baptized, was the day I stepped, with certainty, into a pool of water that was meant to save me. I was told that salvation was on the other side and that the only promise I had to make was a life committed to servitude in the name of the lord. As I was slowly lowered into the water I realized why this process was often referred to as a rebirth. Like the day I first stepped into life, I was unsure of where I was headed but unlike birth I made the conscious decision to take on life's obligations, not only to my lord but to our society as well.

I have been raised from an early age in preparation for the days when the blessings bestowed upon me can be returned in a way that improves the world. I've also been taught that one of the greatest tools I can have on my quest is the power of knowledge, obtained through a solid education. Faith and devotion to the lord are something I will always have but without the knowledge of how to use it I will not be able to fulfill God's purpose for me. The two go hand in hand; I need faith God as he leads me down my path and trust in myself to try new things. More importantly though, I need to learn from every experience in order to really understand myself as well as accept my destiny.

I know that after I go to college and move forward in my career my goal is to return to my home town ready to make a definite change in the community I once grew up in. I hope to touch the lives of others in a way that leaves a positive impact on the world. Even if it's only in one corner of the world, I believe that the effort to do great things is always critical. I know that the integration of faith in my education will keep me going on the right track as well as lead me to my true calling.

I'm not gonna lie, I struggled with this prompt as well but I tried to answer the question to the best of my ability without sounding like I'm just stating facts but I need help and plenty of feedback!! It is ALWAYS appreciated!

for starters I apologize... I couldn't find your Boston UNI essay! if you can link it I'd be more than happy to read another of your essays :)


I'm not sure if the parallelism between the first uncertainty and the second certainty is purposeful. Unfortunately, I find it a bit contrived? probably because the structure isn't paralleled. I think if you do go for the element of repetition, you should make the sentence structures more similar. Also, I think the May 3rd sentence has a bit too many commas :)


I like your last sentence!

hope my Comments and critique helped! :)

But being born was the first unconscious decision I made; I said I was up to the challenge of living, ready to take anything that life threw at me!

I think that needs an exclamation mark above to show that you are saying something in a cool way, making an interesting thought about having been born. The exclamation mark expresses enthusiasm, and that makes it so that it makes sense to say you "decided to be born." Also, I think the word unconscious is not necessary in this sentence.

I have been raised from an early age in preparation for the days when the blessings bestowed upon me can be returned in a way that improves the world.

Nice job! :-) Great enthusiasm here...