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Essay A "My Mean Teacher"


tany_h 1 / 1  
Nov 17, 2010   #1
I would appreciate help with this essay. I don't think it's good enough for a college essay but I have worked really hard on it. Please help.

"Topic Essay A-Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you."

Topic Essay A
Everybody has somehow been influenced a life in some way. Parents teach how to ride a bike and the choir teacher makes a singing bearable. Those influences can be sometimes welcoming to a person but in my case the person that changed my life significantly caused many negative feelings to overcome me. However, thanks to the most hated teacher of all my school life I have move upward in my education leaving many others behind me.

Everything started my fourth grade year here in the United States, the only things I understood in English where the colors along with other simple expressions that where useless in a classroom full of English speaking kids. To my luck my fourth grade class was mostly taught in Spanish so the struggle for high grades was not much for me. My TAKS results came to be excellent at the end of that school year and my grade average could not be topped, but all that happiness ended as soon as Mrs. Garza walked in the room as a substitute for a summer school teacher. My grades died because of her, my hopes, and even my dream of graduating elementary where destroyed because of the simple fact that she was too stubborn to help me. Everything in Mrs. Garza's class was in English, the lecture, the homework, the class work, asking for help and even asking to go to the restroom had to be done in a language unknown for me. There where many failed tries from my part whenever I got close to asking for help. Mrs. Garza would just stand there looking at me with those frog like looking eyes like if I was speaking to her in some other language unknown to her. Failing grades caused my routine after school to change from going to the park and playing with my friends to staying all afternoon inside my room crying until my eyes dried out.

Mrs. Garza made me feel stupid like nobody else had; I despised her with all my heart and made me wish for horrible things to happen to her. I understood it was not a good thing to wish for your teacher to die but I also did not understand that her bad manners and treatment caused me without noticing to learn what was making my life miserable, the English language. After all those days crying and feeling very insignificant I finally came to see beyond what was written on the chalkboard, I understood what was being said to me after that horrible summer. My spelling got better, my paragraphs got longer and my pronunciation came with not so much of a struggle anymore.

As much as Mrs. Garza tried to make my life miserable and unbearable I am thankful for what she did, her bad temper and lack of Spanish made me learn what now my greatest weapon is, knowing how to speak, write and read in English. My most hated teacher gave me the power to succeed in this country without realizing it. Mrs. Garza, no matter how much despised she is to me, is the person that has influenced my life the most.
rubberman 2 / 6  
Nov 17, 2010   #2
the choir teacher makes a singing bearable. Change to "a", "the" implies someone who you have not specified and you dont have to.

Those influences can be sometimes welcoming to a person but in my case the person that changed my life significantly caused many negative feelings to overcome me. You have to rewrite the sentence. The sentence implies that influences and person are the same thing.

Everything started my fourth grade year here in the United States. You might need to add "in" in the sentence.
Garza, no matter how much despised she is to me , is the person that has influenced my life the most.
That part doesnt make sense, you should say "no matter how much I despised her"
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Nov 26, 2010   #3
Everybody has somehow been influenced a life in some way.

Okay, actually I want to ... but in my case t The person that changed my life significantly caused many negative feelings to overcome me. However, thanks to the most hated teacher of all my school life I have move upward in my education leaving many others behind me. (Now add a perfect thesis statement that brilliantly expresses the main idea you want to share.)

Above, do you see how intriguing it is when you begin the essay with that sentence, "The person that..."
I like it!

Everything started during my fourth grade year here in the United States. T he only things words I understood ...

Mrs. Garza made me feel stupid like nobody else had; I despised her with all my heart, and my emotions made me wish for horrible things to happen to her.

...and my pronunciation came with not without so much of a struggle. anymore .

... made me learn earn what has become now my greatest weapon: knowing how to speak, write and read in English.

:-)
bbmmnmh520m - / 2  
Nov 27, 2010   #4
hi,tanisha.

I have experienced the same thing you described in this article.

and u have an indebted heart, I think you will benefit from that.

I always appreciate all of the things happened to me .

we should enjoy our llife. cherish everything and everyone*(including your enemy)

life is so colorful.

I would like to be a friend of you, you can find me in skype---linda.


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