Prompt #1: Describe the world you come from. For example, your family, community, or school. And tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
I was ten years old when my dad and I immigrated here. My mom came here two years earlier so when we arrived, it would be a slightly easier transition for us. They decided to move the family here in the first place so I could have a chance at a better future than they did.
I come from a low-income household. My mom worked twelve hours a day for the three of us, and I rarely saw her. Soon, my dad started working at a nursing home, and practically lived there too. She, like my dad, took care of an elderly woman. Now that I'm older, I realize the difficult work my parents do in order to provide. They're still at it today, and it's been eight years. Since we're still waiting for our immigration case to be processed, they have to accept any job they can get because they haven't got the papers yet. It's truly amazing how they put themselves aside, and take whatever job is available.
I was in the eighth grade when I started understanding the meaning of being an illegal immigrant. Being a kid, I was absent-minded and only getting what I wanted was important. But I started eavesdropping on my parents' conversations and hearing news about deportations. I was scared. And I thought that if I studied really hard, I would make myself and my family some sort of exception. So I worked for good grades, and took on a role that I thought would keep my family here.
I did realize that it is impossible to become an "exception" to this whole deportation crisis, but I do know now that education is still the one thing that will help me rise and succeed no matter what. It will only free me from the oppression emitting from the lack of the right documents.
I was never open with sharing my secret with anyone though. I felt as if people would look at me differently once they knew since illegal immigrants don't necessarily evoke a positive connotation on people. I wanted to fit in, and so I kept quiet. Now that college is near, I've been stressing about how I'm going to pay for college. It really alarmed the people closest to me, and I felt that I should take that risk and just tell them. I was readying myself to receive negative remarks or bad looks, but I didn't get any. And soon enough, I was able to ask people at school for support. I'm glad that I took that risk because now, I'm more open and I've learned that I should be more trusting. And if someone gives me a bad look- who cares? I'm still going to have those same people that support me.
My social studies teacher had told us that the government is set up that we stay in the same social status that we were born in. I, however, am not going to let that happen. I can take control of my own path if I really wanted to, and I will. I'm going to get the tools needed to climb my way up the next mountain called college, and it'll be one that I want to go to.
Thank you in advance! And I'm actually not sure if this should be for the first prompt, it sounds like it could be for the second prompt too which is:
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution, or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?
"My mom worked twelve hours a day for the three of us, and I rarely saw her. Soon, my dad started working at a nursing home, and practically lived there too. She, like my dad, took care of an elderly woman."
Don't you mean "He, like my mom, took care..."?
"Now that college is near, I've been stressing about how I'm going to pay for college. It really alarmed the people closest to me, and I felt that I should take that risk and just tell them."
I think you should rewrite to something like: "Since paying for college alarmed all of my close friends, I became worried too; I felt that I should take a risk and told them of my situation."
OR take out the "and" and replace with "so".
good luck~!
My mom had come here two ...
...a chance at opportunities better than the ones they had. better future than they did.
Since we were still waiting for our immigration case to be processed, they have had to accept any job they can could get because they haven't hadn't gotten the papers yet.
It's truly amazing how they put themselves aside, and took whatever jobs wer e available.---Yes, it is!!
I was never open with my ideas, though -- never shared my secret with anyone. though .
I can take control of my own path if I really wanted want to, and I will.
...and it'll be one that I want to go to.---I think you can improve this ending!! But the essay is great. I hope you and your family find a lot of success!
