"the mechanics of nature is intriguing" Intellectually engaging experience Stanford

Hi, Thanks for coming. This is my essay for Stanford transfer admission about an intellectually engaging experience. If I could get some tips it would be much appreciated.

Although I find the mechanics of nature intriguing, I see her well being and sustenance to be of up most importance. This is what motivated me to do some personal research on the environment. Not to my surprise, I eventually found myself studying about the energy industries of the world. Here I learned about some different sources of energy and their various impacts on the environment when utilized. What really interested me were the seemingly simple concepts of nucleic fission and fusion for energy production. I researched the nuclear fuel cycle that involves the fission of the Thorium-232 isotope and compared it to that of the Uranium-235 isotope. What I learned amazed me. The negative aspects traditionally associated with nuclear energy are either significantly reduced or absent when Thorium nuclei fission. For example, according to some of my credible sources, not only is there less spent fuel produced by this method but the small amount that is has a much shorter half-life. I found this and an array of other supportive data very enlightening, especially since it is somewhat contrary to popular belief on the subject. So I decided to do a research presentation. I gathered my information from various research papers and dissertations and I gave a short lecture on it at the 2010 Honors Transfer Council of California Conference. Although I understood the notion beforehand, this experience helped open my mind to the idea that there is much to be discovered about the universe.

Thank you

Capitalize the word Nature in the first sentence so we know you're personifying it.

I see her well - being and sustenance to be of utmost importance, motivating me to do do my own personal research on the environment.

remove "according to some of my credible sources, "

I found this and an array of other supportive data very enlightening, especially since it is somewhat contrary to popular belief on the subject, prompting me to host a research presentation.

or absent when Thorium undergoes nuclear fission OR when Thorium is used in the process

but the small amount that is has a much shorter half-life I think you need to revise this part because one who is not a scientist will not really understand what you are trying to say.

Overall, you got a nice essay there.