I recently typed a personal statement based on myself. Please help me to include Rutgers in my essay.
-thanks in advance.
Rutgers University is a vibrant community of people with a wide variety of backgrounds and experiences. How would you benefit from and contribute to such an environment? Consider variables such as your talents, travels, leadership activities, volunteer services, and cultural experiences. Only personal essays submitted via our website will be considered. You may enter a maximum of 3800 characters including spaces.
To bequeath my eyes to the medically minded; my love to mend broken souls; my brain to creative idea; my hands to build a better world; my personality to shed light where darkness persists, and myself to make life sweeter, richer and better by one. This details my passion and sums up my desire to become an Orthopedic Surgeon.
I am moved to compassion when I have to walk pass an individual with a physical deformity or amputation. My desire is to specialize in orthopedic or emergency medicine. In 2009 during a medical career seminar, I gained a lot of first hand experience of the medical profession by associating with many practicing physicians.
When I witnessed a actual surgical procedure, my determination to become an orthopedic surgeon was strengthened.
I am a dedicated modest, honest, and informed individual; a person who submerges self in service to mankind and surrounding communities. I'm a individual who abhors greed and detests vanity; my humility is my strength and integrity is my greatness. As a student I am coachable and open to feedback; I understand that all learning can always be improved and it is through a recursive cycle of experience, feedback, reflection, and goal setting that I make progress overtime. Finally, I would say that I also need to be of my own learning process, understanding what I need individually in order to grow, succeed and being willing and able to ask for assistance to drive that process.
Being self-motivated, determined I look forward to the social and academic challenges in college. I am aware of the demands of a medical career but my commitment and desire to become a physician has only been strengthened through my experience and work in a voluntary capacity.
However, I've learned that the future that I see is not and should not be only about me. There are not many African-American males volunteering, taking responsibility for leadership in our communities. Every great philosopher has taught that we should not and must not live for ourselves but for others, and that selfless sacrifice must be exemplified and characterized by our compassion and altruism. Dr. Norman Vincent Peale once wrote that "It is impossible to reach out to another person in need and then not feel great."
Therefore, my purpose to practice medicine is to uplift and support my surrounding communities. I have participated in numerous extracurricular projects, including my internship experience at University of Medicine & Dentistry of NJ. During my time there I gained valuable hand-on interpersonal experience, as well as a solid grasp of the meaning of community service. I have benefited tremendously by reaching out to people in need and making a difference in the lives of others. My life will be characterized by altruism with an emphasis to deliver, comfort, and set the disadvantaged and privileged free from this mindset of psychological, emotional and sociological captivity.
The hand, more than any other limb or organ differentiates man from other creation, for no other creature has a hand; and with the hand man stamps his impression upon nature. When he would caress, soothe, comfort, encourage, bless, stimulate or welcome his fellow human being, he lays his hands upon them. So as an Orthopedic Surgeon, I would not only be equipped to mend broken bones, but broken lives and broken communities.
when I have to walk pass an individual
This should either be "when I have to walk PAST an individual" or "when I have to pass an individual."
I gained a lot of first hand experience
"first-hand"
"aN actual surgery"
Do not use "I'm," use "I am" instead.
Being self-motivated, determined I look forward to the social and academic challenges in college.
"Self-motivated and determined, I look forward to the social and academic challenges of college." Maybe relate this to specific experiences you have had in high school that show your anticipation of challenge academically and socially.
