Medical field; NYU Supp - Academic interests?

Prompt:

NYU's global network provides students with hundreds of academic areas of interest for students to cultivate their intellectual curiosity and to help achieve
their career goals. Whether you are entirely undecided about your academic plans or you have a deï-nitive program of study in mind, what are your own academic

interests? Feel free to share any thoughts on any particular programs or how you might explore those interests at NYU on any of our campuses. (max 1,500 characters!)

He screamed. He kicked. He struggled against the nurturing hands that tried to help him. The once strong, struggling kicks turned to feeble jolts until the anesthesia finally put him under. As he drifted into a dreamless state, we were able to make out one more word: mom. The patient was 3 years old and had a collapsed artery. This scene brought me to tears. I wondered how the doctors in neatly tied scrubs and surgical masks were able to ignore this and continue their daily routine with dry eyes and emotionless faces. It was not until the end of the surgery when I saw a wide smile spread across their faces that I came to a realization. They were not heartless like I had previously thought; they were the exact opposite. They were so dedicated to their work and patient that they blocked out all other influences in the surgery room in order to focus on getting their patient healthy again. Ever since that day, I knew that my heart was set on becoming someone who was as passionate and dedicated to their career as the doctors in that surgery room were. It's a long and arduous road in front of me but I believe that I have the motivation to persevere. My first step begins with a college that can provide me with all the resources and knowledge to pursue a rewarding career in the medical field and I believe that NYU is that college for me. There, I will continue to expand my knowledge on the medical field and push myself to discover new things about myself and my future career path.

Any revisions are greatly appreciated! My last and final college essay!! :D

i am no grammar professional so i don't offer much on the table (haha but i can say that i do very much enjoy your response but i feel like your premise (ie characterizing the doctors as actual humans rather than soulless robots) were a bit too long. You should elaborate more on NYU and its possible resources that can be of aid to you which you only did so briefly towards the end. But otherwise, you have a nice writing style that is engaging, nice use of vocabulary.

may you critique or help revise my boston uni supplemental. much help would be appreciated n_n

Regards,

-andy

Thank you very much for your response! I greatly appreciate it :D
Yes, I do feel that I rushed the ending talking about how I would use NYU to help further my education.
Gah I hate the word limit!

I love your essay!!
I'm working on the NYU supplementsïźŒtoo.
Since there is a why essay already, personally I think your ending is fine:)
I really enjoy your essay and hate the1500char limit,too....