Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 3


Medical knowledge, Johns Hopkins Supplement Essay


Agokhale 1 / -  
Nov 29, 2009   #1
Hi everyone, I would appreciate any critiques on this essay.

Johns Hopkins offers 50 majors across the schools of Arts and Sciences and Engineering. On this supplement, we ask you to identify one or two that you might like to pursue here. Why did you choose the way you did? If you are undecided, why didn't you choose? (If any past courses or academic experiences influenced your decision, you may include them in your essay.)

I was waiting; the clock kept ticking, "tick tock tick tock" and my anxiety level was rising. I waited for minutes that seemed like hours for the start of my biology class. That day we were going to do a routine lab in our six-day lab cycle and learn about the various aspects of cell control. My professor stated that, "without control, the cell cycle will divide indefinitely creating a tumor that can sometimes be harmful or even fatal." As my professor talked about the various aspects of cell control I was enthralled by the descriptions of the cell and the profound impact that biology has on the world around us. Then we split up into our lab groups to do a meiosis and mitosis lab where I could see the effects of a lack of cell control first hand. I saw the lecture of my professor suddenly spring into life and new pathways for learning became available to me. The myriad of cells undergoing phases like anaphase and telophase truly validated the real world applications of biology. By the end of the lab, I learned aspects of the world previously unbeknownst to me.

It is in a field pertaining to the applications of science where my professional goals reside. I plan to major in biomedical engineering because the field applies engineering principles and techniques to the medical field. This course work contains biological science content, which I can use as a "pre-med" major in preparation for medical school. My goal is to apply for medical school and eventually specialize in cardiac surgery. Many of my family members have been affected by heart related maladies. In general, heart disease is among the greatest causes of death around the world. Through the medical knowledge that I will receive, I would like to better the lives of those who are facing heart related illnesses. In addition, I would like to use my medical knowledge for humanitarian purposes through organizations such as "Doctors Without Borders."
ssuraj 4 / 7  
Nov 29, 2009   #2
I too love biology and great way to approach your essay. You answer the question perfectly and what you want to major in. However, your answer of biomedical engineering is pretty generic. Colleges know what biomedical engineering involves and what you can do with it; they don't need you to tell them that. They could just as easily say "ok, so if you want to pursue biomedical engineering, then you can do that at most other universities as well". Tell them why you want to pursue it at JHU. What makes JHU special. What does JHU have in biomed engineering that other colleges don't. If you could incorporate that aspect into your essay, then it will be golden. Good luck!
yang 2 / 313  
Nov 29, 2009   #3
Love the word unbeknownst, never knew it before!

ssuraj is right in that you need to focus on the school more "we ask you to identify one or two that you might like to pursue here"

Don't talk so much about the process, but more about why, which you defined in the second paragraph.

Also, it would be good to make a separate paragraph before "That day..."

Do some research and incorporate some of JH's unique programs, they love to see that you visited their website!


Home / Undergraduate / Medical knowledge, Johns Hopkins Supplement Essay
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳