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Medical ophthalmic assistant; Personal Statement-Why becoming a PA?


mygoalisPA 1 / 3 1  
Jan 26, 2013   #1
Hello, I am going to apply for PA school this year. Please help me with my PS. Any adivice would be very appreciated. Thank you!

As I progress in maturity. especially through these years of studying and working in healthcare field, I realized that anything worth doing at all is worht doing well. Responsibity of one of the most important characteristics a healthcare worker should have. This motto has motivated me to do my jobs above and beyond.

It was a typical day in our ophthalmology practice, a 70-year-old female, Maria, sitting in the wheelchair with excruciating pain in her lower back. The pain was so intense that she could not even be transferred to the exam chair to do refraction. What even worse was that Maria could not ve seen for her pain because her doctor's schedule was full for the next two weeks.

I kept seeing and hearing cases like Maria's thoughout my job duties as a medical ophthalmic assistant. I found this job rewarding but wanted to become part of the healthcare team that could help patients like Maria. This convinced me that I was ready to expand my medical knowledge. With experience of working with physician assistant in different specialties dutring my clinical rotation for the medical assistant program and my understanding of PA profession, my goal soon becomes clear and I strongly believ this is a right fit for me: enter into the medical profession as a physician assistant.

My starting background is a bachelor's degree in Chinese language and literature(with very low GPA I have to point this out because I really did not and still don't have the sense of literature. I wonder how could I expalin this in the essay?????). With that I have had a successful career as an English-Chinese interpreter and have utilized my bilingual skill at work in both China and the U.S. I believe communication skill is key to being a good healthcare provider. With excellent academic performance (overall GPA 3.96 )on my medical assistant program and pre-requisite science courses I have shown to have a strong competence of learning science. I also tutored Chemistry and Biology in the college.

My continued enthusiasm in medical field is a big plus to succeed. I am fascinated by microscopic observation of human blood cells and the cells of many other different types of human tissues, figuring out the relationship between cellular morphology and its function. studying bacterial sensitivety and resistance to antibiotics, the testing Rh factor of different blood types, assisting bone marrow biopsy, and so many other things that helped me better understand human body and human diseases. It was the academic knowledge that made me be aware of infection control, affection of systemic diseases on vision, and reactions between systemic and ocular medications when working on the patients.

During my PA shadowing in primary care, orthopedics, and general surgery, I foucused on the role of PAs in healthcare team and how patients reacted to PAs. PA may perform comprehensive exam, order and interpret diagnostic test, assist surgery, share pre and post-operation treatments with physicians and under physician's supervision. I realized that patients have strong faith in a knowledgeable and professional PA. I like the fact that a PA establishes rapport with different generations of the same family just like a doctor does and the fact that a PA can technically work independently while still be a team player. This affirmed my desire to become a PA even further.

I am ready to purse my career goal now : enter into the medical profession as a physician assistant. I am confident that I will be a very competitive PA student and will eventually become a competent PA in the near future. The only thing I need now is an interview opportunity. Give me this opportunity, and you will ve convinced!

OK, so the above is my first craft. I need to point out one thing is my learning habit played a big role in my success as an interpreter. For students who are not majored in English. it is very difficult to get enough learning material because English major students have four years' English class and non-English students have only two years. The way I learned English was using internet chatroom(10 years ago the chatroom was so much different than now), part time tutoring foreigners Chinese and Chinese English. volunteering to be an interpreter for businessmen, travelers, students etc. during summer and winter holiday. By the time of graduation, my spoken English was in a far higher level than those students who were majored in English, and my first job offer was a full time interpreter. Where should I add this in the essay?

Any advice is totally fine. I appreciate your reading my parrinate?interesting? or boring PS?
rachael13 2 / 7  
Jan 26, 2013   #2
I also tutored Chemistry and Biology in the college.

This seems to be just thrown into the essay at the end of the paragraph. Try to incorporate it better earlier in the paragraph.
Also, check your spelling and grammar. There's lots of typos in it.

Instead of saying "all I need is an interview opportunity," perhaps say "If given an interview opportunity, . . . "
OP mygoalisPA 1 / 3 1  
Jan 26, 2013   #3
Thank you so much for your advice, Rechael13.
rachael13 2 / 7  
Jan 26, 2013   #4
No problem. The overall content is good, just try to be a bit more concise and work on some organization.
Didgeridoo - / 306 191  
Jan 26, 2013   #5
Anything worth doing at all is worth doing well. This is the motto that has constantly driven me.

I first used it when I faced the frustration of learning English in a school where non-English
(Do you mean students who aren't majoring in English, or students who do not speak English?)students could only take two years of English classes, instead of four years like English majors. I could have stuck with the program and slowly transitioned from Chinese (?) to English. Instead, I supplemented my education by spending hours practicing my English in Internet chat-rooms. As a part-time job, I tutored Americans (?) in Chinese and Chinese people in English (?). Summers and winter holidays, I became an interpreter for tourists, students, and businessmen. I came to America (?) with ______ knowledge of English and graduated from ________ speaking English more fluently than those who had majored in English. Not only has my dedication helped me earn my first career as an interpreter, but it has also shown me that having initiative and responsibility can produce amazing results.

I thought of my motto again the day I met Maria during my shift at ______'s ophthalmology practice.Seventy years old and confined to a wheelchair, shewas suffering from excruciating pain in her lower back. (Describe what made you aware of this.) The pain was so intense that she could not even be transferred to the exam chair for refraction. What even worse was that Maria could not be seen for her pain because her doctor's schedule was full for the next two weeks. (How did you feel upon hearing that?)

Even in an ______ (eye clinic?), I frequently saw and heard ofof people suffering from ________ like Maria.My job as a medical ophthalmologist assistant was rewarding, but I found myself wanting totake on a role inhealthcare that would allow me to help people suffering from ______ . The strength of my desire convinced me that I was ready to expand my medical knowledge. I thought back to my experience of working with a physician assistant in different specialties dutring my clinical rotation for ______'s(What school?) medical assistant program, and drew from my understanding of the PA profession.My goal soon becameclear: Iwant tore-enter the medical fieldand become a physician assistant.

My educational background is a Bachelor's degree in Chinese Language and Literature . I have had a successful career as an English-Chinese interpreter and have utilized my bilingual skill at work in both China and the U.S.A.I struggled with understanding _____ and _____, so my GPA suffered as a result. However, I left _______ (college) communication skills, which have helped me immensely in being a good healthcare provider. [Examples of how you have used communication effectively as an ophthalmologist.]

[You need a smoother transition from your Chinese degree to your love of and proficiency in science. For example...]I first became interested in medicine when...[I am fascinated by the intricacy of human blood cells and the cells of many other different types of human tissues.and I love figuring out the relationship between cells' morphology and function . Studying bacterial sensitivity and resistance to antibiotics, testing the Rh factors of different blood types, assisting with bone marrow biopsies , and so many other things have helped me better understand the human body and human diseases. It was the academic knowledge that made me be aware of infection control, affection of systemic diseases on vision, and reactions between systemic and ocular medications when working on the patients.](I think you are listing too many things in this paragraph. Cut down on some of the examples in between the red brackets.)My passion for science and medicine allowed me to leave my medical assistant program and science prerequisites with a 3.96 GPA and help other students by tutoring them in Chemistry and Biology.

During my PA shadowing in the Primary Care , Orthopedics , and General Surgery [portions of my medical assistant program?] , I focused on the role of PAs in a healthcare team and how patients responded to PAs. PA may perform comprehensive exam, order and interpret diagnostic test, assist surgery, share pre and post-operation treatments with physicians and under physician's supervision.(You don't need to list a PA's jobs; this is a PA school.) I realized that patients have strong faith in a knowledgeable and professional PA (What showed you that?) . I like the fact that a PA establishes a rapport with different generations of the same family just like a doctor does,as well as the fact that a PA can work independently while still being a team player. This knowledge affirmed my desire to become a PA even further.

I have the academic and communication skills to become a physician assistant. But more than that, I have the desire to be not just a PA, but a great PA. "Anything that is worth doing is worth doing well." I want to do more than routine checkups; I want to do everything possible reduce the number of people who have to live with ________ like Maria. I want to not just go to any old PA school; I want to go to the best one. I want to go to ______.(Saying you wanted to be a competitive PA student and a competent PA was OK, but you should try to do something like this, to have an end paragraph that brings back all the other things you talked about, to tie your PS up and end it with your desire to go to the school.)
OP mygoalisPA 1 / 3 1  
Jan 26, 2013   #6
WOW WOW WOW!!!!!!!!How much should I thank you for this? I owe you a big deal! I have been stuck with this for weeks. I knew that this PS did not sound smooth, somehow I just could not figure out how to make it smoother. My low GPA of Chinese language and literature was because I was simply not good at writing something or appreciating a so-called artistic novel, article, or whatever literature related.

Thank you SO MUCH Didgeridoo!!!!
Didgeridoo - / 306 191  
Jan 26, 2013   #7
mygoalisPA
It was my pleasure... :D
OP mygoalisPA 1 / 3 1  
Jan 26, 2013   #8
thank you Rechael13, I know my weakness in writing. This is a killing point for me:( Guess I do need to go for a formal English writing class. Thank you again for taking your time to review my PS!


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