ANY HARSH COMMENTS ARE WELCOMED
Paint a verbal portrait of an ideal physician and tell us about the experiences that you have had which have helped to shape this ideal.
There is a medical field called "the flower of the flowers": cardiac surgery.
I first became curious at heart because of my old friend, who was born with a weaker heart than that of anyone and could not run as much as she wanted to, even once in her lifetime. A girl always looked through a glass at the enviable scenery-her friends running and playing around during the break. At first, I became friends with Hee-Young because of my compassion on her, but as time passed our friendship became unfathomable. The fresh wind hit our face as I pushed her wheelchair around the streets. However, God invited her to heaven before she could receive a new healthy heart. On December 24th, 2002, in front of the door, I realized that it's hard to differentiate whether a person is breathing or not, but it's so easy to feel acridly from far away that the person is not breathing.
Among the surgical departments-the flowers of medicine, cardiac surgery is called "the flower of the flowers" because it is most hazardous and requires a lot of strength and patience from surgeons. However, a lamentable and stern reality in Korea is that it is turned cold shoulders on by other medical fields. Not only emergencies are always stand-by and surgeries are often exposed to the medical malpractice, but also the charges for a 30-min operation of Asian blepharoplasty (a.k.a. "double eyelid surgery") handled by a single surgeon and those of a 10-hour cardiac surgery, which demands five to six surgeons, are the same. In Korea, the cardiac surgery department has elites, but the number of applicants declined greatly. Also, the grades of the applicants are so poor that the department is dominated by the atmosphere of so-called "the housing of the tail-enders." Most of the time, cosmetic surgeons and ophthalmology professors make sarcastic remarks on the quality of its novices: "What if the grades are at the bottom? You have to thank them for applying to your department and should accept them whatsoever." Moreover, it is impossible for cardiac surgeons to open their own medical practices, and the cardiac surgery department's line dies out without a resident to pursue in countless university hospitals. My father's friend, a professor at the department of cardiothoracic surgery in Seoul University declared that "there are about 3500 new doctors every year, but only 20-30 among them apply for the cardiac surgery. This is very severe situation." He also stated that "heart and lungs are essential for life, thus superior surgeons are needed; however, since we are deficient of the quota, I am worried that recruitment of the people with inadequate skills would lead to the degradation of the medical service quality." On one dawn, he had to go help out an urgent case, and then a neurosurgery intern saw the situation and complained: "if I still have to come out at this time even four years later, I would never apply to the cardiothoracic department." Soon the wealthy would go to foreign countries and the poor would undergo operations done by the imported surgeons from the third world.
However, even under this circumstance, I want to become a surgeon who blooms "the flower of the flowers"...a surgeon who sheds blood and tears with the patients, standing on the diverged roads of life and death...a surgeon who can appreciate and be grateful to their revival...a surgeon who achieves the value of life-ruminating the Hippocratic Oath-regardless of the wall of reality. I want to make people realize the importance of life and the fact that they are not living this world alone.
Usually, a huge barricade is constructed between an excellent doctor and a petty resident in Korea. In fact, if you go to a hospital with an aged director, numerous doctors often do no listen to the patients' says because of their hubris for becoming the social elites. I could find situation similar to this in America also. My first personal doctor in the United States treated me in a rude manner by belittling the minority and almost browbeat our family. We finally changed our doctor, but I can never forget the unpleasantness at that time.
For a destitute patient, I might cut down the cost by operating the surgery in the name of a clinical assistant professor; for a patient who is unable to pay, I might secretly give a hint to the patient to run away. Perhaps I might not be able to form a family because of the endless surgeries and researches. And if I do form a family, I might become inattentive towards the family members, and the chances for a conversation might become scarce. However, I would be satisfied at living as a doctor who is crazy for saving people-a doctor that this era truly wants. I would like to become a doctor with inherent dexterity, endeavor, and a flood of tears in his heart...a surgeon who would join a teddy bear club and sew the dolls with his left hand to enhance the left hand skills.
On December 24th, 2002, in front of the door, I realized that it's hard to differentiate whether a person is breathing or not, but it's so easy to feel acridly from far away that the person is not breathing.
This is such a powerful paragraph... but this last line is a little unclear. I think the word learned is better than realized. I think "in front of the door" should not be included.
For that second paragraph, you should divide it up and cut out some unnecessary words nd sentences to make it more concise. It becomes hard to understand here ---> "What if the grades are at the bottom? You have to thank them for applying to your department and should accept them whatsoever." ---this sentence is not really clear. I wish I knew how to help you express it correctly.
The essay is very impressive in its eloquence and seriousness.
