Stumbling my way into the bathroom I was met
Stumbling my way into the bathroom, I was met
apocalypse movie I let out
apocalypse movie, I let out
shower I proceeded
shower, I proceeded
This had become such a common occurrence that we established a system
This has become such a common occurrence that we have established a system
fictitious (somewhat) aspirations
(somewhat) fictitious aspirations
1812 Overture, as excitement.
? with excitement?
By this time it has become such a daily routine that I hardly consider it anomalous anymore
Sort of repetitive. "By this time it had become regular so I don't consider it irregular anymore..."
knowing that the hard work I put in now will benefit me in the future
A little out of place. If you're being honest enough to talk about messy bed head and "much needed showers," I don't think inserting this fits with your essay
passionately consummate in his profession
Can't help but find this awkward. Even if it has two meanings, "passionately consummate?"...
Whoa. This just took a turn from refreshingly honest and colorful to talking about your academic passions and intentions... You have so many things to work with from this essay that make you "unique and colorful," so don't end with talking about medicine/school, they tried to steer you away from that with "Beyond your impressive academic credentials..."