Currently at 240/350 words... prompt is: How did you learn about Vassar and what aspect of our college do you find appealing?
Looking for advice on a final paragraph/how to end my essay? Feel free to give any other comments, aswell.
Spare nothing!
My addressing of the prompt How did you learn about Vassar and what aspect of our college do you find appealing? Limit 350 words
Currently 415 words... :( I know I can cut some stuff in the first paragraph, but am having trouble with exactly what to cut. Any other comments would be great, too, but please help with the length!!!
"At the mere age of eleven, my Meryl Streep obsession flourished. Every film starring her, every cameo appearance she made had to be in the watch of my eyes. Meryl possessed a certain sophistication that no other female figure I'd ever laid eyes on had. Eleven-year-old me could ramble off petty Meryl trivia without even blinking, and every Meryl rampage included fact number six: Meryl Streep graduated from Vassar College in 1971. Obviously, since Meryl had attended Vassar for its Drama program, I would, too.
Times have certainly changed since my preteen Meryl-obsessed self had figured out my life's plan. My interest in majoring in Drama has since been switched out for a major in the fascinating study of Economics. Countless hours spent watching and re-watching The Devil Wears Prada are now consumed by AP Calculus and AP Chemistry homework. But one aspect remains strong: my yearning to attend Vassar College.
My knowledge in regards to what Vassar has to offer has indefinitely skyrocketed to encompass more than simply being the alma mater of my most favorite human. I'm left wanting so much after watching one simple virtual tour of Vassar. I want to walk into the Main Building, bask in its incredulous Second Empire architecture, and experience the core of the educational perfection that is Vassar College. I want to delve into Political Science lectures and Philosophy seminars in the great Rockefeller Hall. I want to sit in the Thompson Memorial Library to spend a quiet afternoon reading with fresh sunlight pouring in the windows. And when my legs become stiff from sitting too long, I want to go for a stroll in the Library Lawn, taking in that fresh sunlight. It is truly astonishing to me that one random online click could make me feel like I belong somewhere so contently.
Digging deeper into Vassar only reveals an additional myriad of reasons as to why this college is my perfect fit. Not only is the college highly renowned in its economics program, Vassar's unique location makes studying economics there especially appealing. The college's close proximity to New York City is so beneficial for someone who wholeheartedly craves to work and reside in the City long term. In addition, the ability to study abroad in some of the most happening financial districts in the world, such as France, would seduce any connoisseur of economics. As Vassar's intellectual atmosphere seems nearly tailored toward me, I sincerely hope that one day my wants will become haves."
Hello,
You can certainly use Meryl as your reason for discovering Vassar College, however, you fail to really connect your desires to attend the college with the uniqueness of its resources. Closeness to NYU....so are 100 other colleges. Renown econ department??? Are you sure? So instead of just stating superficial arguments, you should go into detail to show why Vassar is the right college for you. Talk more about the econ program and resources at the school. - Admissions Advice Online
In this sentence, "Eleven-year-old me could ramble off petty Meryl trivia without even blinking, and every Meryl rampage included fact number six: Meryl Streep graduated from Vassar College in 1971."
I think you can take out "Eleven-year-old me" and replace that with just "I", since you've already established in the start of the first paragraph that you were eleven then by saying "At the mere age of eleven".
I think this sentence "Countless hours spent watching and re-watching The Devil Wears Prada are now consumed by AP Calculus and AP Chemistry homework." is unnecessary as well, and can be taken out.
I'm applying to Vassar as well! Hope that helps! :)
