A 750 word essay based on your extracurricular activities, community involvement, contribution to school life and plans for the future.
deepen the knowledge of chemistry
Ever since my early childhood, I could not help myself but tinker with all the simple products lying around at home, from using Coca Cola to clean my dad's rusty tools, to making a hydrogen rocket with cleaning acid and aluminium foil, or building a Voltaic cell out of the lemons from my garden; an entire series of amazing experiments which opened me to the mesmerizing world of Chemistry. My mother, an Administrative Assistant, and my father, a Chef, noticed my intellectual curiosity and pushed my childhood explorations by giving me piles of mind-opening books such as 'Young Scientist' or 'What's Chemistry all about?'. The mind-blowing answers these array of science books provided me with not only expanded my understanding of Chemistry, but also pushed me to study it further at Chemical Engineering Level.
Through high school, I had the opportunity to gain exposure to new techniques and more advanced theories through the study of a well-elaborated A-Level syllabus. Outside classes, I was a very active student. During my 11th and 12th grade, I have been elected by my peers and teachers to the position of Senior Prefect, a role held by only a few ones. Along with the prefect body, we would schedule meetings each week and were responsible for maintaining discipline among students during school hours, seeking sponsorship and coordinating major student activities such as the World Book Day, Sports days, and educational outings. Being a Prefect truly was one of my best high school experiences, fostering in me an incredible sense of leadership, organization and discipline; qualities which will serve me well throughout my career.
Outside academic life, I was a keen member of the school Debate Club and have had great pleasure in improving my ability for public speaking- a skill that will be undoubtedly beneficial to my future career. In 2015, I joined the Plateau Toastmasters Program and earned my Certificate of Public Speaking Course completion. A few months later, I attended the Zonal Model United Nations Conference to represent my high school, where I had undertaken the lead role of the Head of the Sweden Delegation. After three days of public speaking and debating, intense research work and determination, the Swedish Delegation managed to reach the highest rank of Best Delegation and qualified for the nationals, an astounding achievement for my high school.
In addition, I have also dedicated much of my free time to playing soccer for the school and regional team, and volunteering for a local organization. For nearly four years now, as the youngest member of the MOVE Volunteer Association, I have assisted in organizing several community outreach projects around the island, including massive blood campaigns in the towns of Rose-Hill and Quatre-Bornes, fundraising events for the orphans of SOS Village, and fun days with the elderly people of the Foyer Marguerite Retirement Home. Not only were these activities among the most enjoyable and rewarding experiences I have ever had, but were ideal ways to develop my communication and team-work abilities, both of which are requisite to flourish as a successful Chemical Engineer.
After having successfully completed my Higher School Certificate, I have decided to strengthen my foundation of Chemical Engineering through a work experience at sugar company ALTEO Ltd. Working in the research field, I have been able to assist chemists with experiments such as analyzing sugar samples in their state-of-the-art laboratories while getting acquainted with principles and apparatus I was unfamiliar with. I also helped during the conversion of bagasse into bioelectricity, including sampling water at each stage and working out the amounts of chemicals required for each preparation. This invaluable experience has reaffirmed my decision of choosing Chemical Engineering as my future career, and has made me even more excited to study it in depth at university.
In my spare time, I am currently following MIT Open Courseware lectures, which provide an overview of the applications of Chemical Engineering in fields such as crude oil refining, modern design of heat exchangers and environmental engineering. Most recently, I have become increasingly intrigued by importance attributed to environmental protection and sustainability. I am particularly interested in researching and implementing new ways of combatting climate change by helping create new technologies in order to produce low-cost and highly efficient renewable energy. At university, I am especially interested in participating in intensive research programs to further develop my knowledge and skills in order to protect and improve the world through chemistry. After my graduation I wish to continue further with my studies to a higher degree, specializing in renewable energy.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,797 
4780 Pam, the only revision to your essay that I can suggest at this point is the removal of the first 2 paragraphs. Since the information required of you is tremendously clear in the prompt, the stories that you shared at the beginning of the essay, within the first 2 paragraphs, turns out to be out of context. However, the story of being a prefect boy in the middle of paragraph two is required in the essay.
If possible, lift out the portion about you being a prefect boy and open the essay with that line instead. that way you respond to the "contribution to school life" first with the representation of the rest of the essay requirements following that. The remaining paragraphs fall within the prompt requirements. It creates an excellent picture of you as a person beyond being a student. You show yourself to be an achiever outside of school as well. This will help to increase your skill set in the mind of the reviewer. So while the first two paragraphs do not blend with the essay, it did not cause a severe problem in terms of revising your essay. You just need to remove those paragraphs in order to create a final and usable copy of your work.
