Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
Middle-born children of families are often characterized as falling under their parents' radar, sometimes struggling to find their place in the world. I, unfortunately, suffer from the middle child syndrome. I have four sisters: Kelly, the firstborn; Lauren, the third-born; and Megan, the baby of the family. My eldest sister, Kelly, definitely possesses the traits of a first-born, even while she was just a growing fetus in my mother's belly. My grandparents waited eagerly for the arrival of my mother and father's firstborn, already bestowing gifts and money on the new baby. The Chinese have traditions of welcoming a first-born into the world, but never the second-born.
As I grew up alongside my superior sister, the differences in our personalities were evident. She was always the over-achiever, the go-getter, continuously coming home with perfect grades. Everything I could do she could do better, with a particular flair that made her stand out. I would shuffle behind in her shadow, going about my own mediocre business. Megan was always being fawned over, an everyday, effortless occurrence for her as the youngest child. Lauren and I were in the same boat, just getting by in all our middle-child glory.
I grew older and into my teenage years, starting to find the things I love to do in life today. I discovered photography and writing, something my sisters weren't exceptional at. Coincidentally, middle-born children are known to have creative tendencies, and my family is not an artistic one, so I felt special that I had some interesting talents to my name. I aspired to be different, noticeable. I wanted to step out of my sister's shadow and to be recognized not just as "Kelly's younger sister".
At seventeen years old, I am applying to college, no longer under Kelly's shadow. I'm making my own choices in life and I know I can make a name for myself out there. While the middle child is not pushed as hard as the firstborn or nurtured as much as the youngest, I have learned to embrace my second-born status with pride.
feedback would be greatly appreciated!
I can somewhat relate to this idea in your essay, my eldest brother was the valedictorian, got a 2400 SAT score, and a full ride scholarship to Berkeley. But, it seems like you focus too much on being in a shadow and it seems like you don't focus enough on yourself and your talents, not comparing them to anyone. Maybe you should talk about your photography more and how your family isn't particularly artistic. Talk more about your circumstances leading you to find your interests. I just think your essay has a great idea, but 2/3 of it is on your sister being better, and the last paragraph is saying I found photography and writing which my sister sucks at. It seems like your saying your passions revolve around your sister rather than just because you love them. Sorry if this was harsh, I hope I helped. (also, I'm a photo major trying to transfer, so I hope you get in haha)
