hi, my name's firza. i really confused about making an essay, because i've never made it before. i have to make it to registration to college. they told me to make an essay about myself. may you check my essay. and i wish you give me some advice. thank you :D
this is my essay,
I was grown up in the middle of a contractor's life, my father, who is working in building environment. There's so many house sketch design in my father's room that always make me so enthusiastic, and that's why I really exited in architecture. Beside that, my sister took quantity surveying for her subject in college, that's make me more exited to choose architecture for my dream continuance. I always think how to make it to be true, so I studied as hard as I can.
I'm naturally a Muslim since I was born. My father and my mother have strong faith in Islam. So they always teach me about it very well and made me really believe in Islam as the truth religion until I die. Everything we do, it has some rules to do the right or wrong thing, and we can't doubt it.
When I was in second grade in high school, I went to Japan for student exchange program as delegation student from North Sumatera. And I also made my class' year book design. I'm good in computing and design. After I graduated from high school, beside I study at home, I made an online shop on a social website for getting pocket money
The first sentence, I grew up in the middle of a contractor' life, my father, who works in a building environment.
You may also change the sentence about your sister to..My sister studied quality surveying in college..
Also check the spelling of exciting...
So they always taught me about it very well and made me believe in Islam as the true religion until I die.
check on those areas.
when i said 'i was grown up in the middle of a contractor's life' << did i use wrong structure?
and i think, when i said always teach, it's still happening till now. do i have to change it to taught?
I grew up in the middle of a contractor's life -- my father, who was working on building homes. There are so many house sketches and designs in my father's room that always make me so enthusiastic, and that's why I am really excited about architecture.
I'm naturally I have been a Muslim since I was born. ---I think the paragraph about Islam is well-written, but I think it is not about what the essay is supposed to be about. What is the idea you want the reader to remember about you? I think you should show the reader that you are already reading a lot about architecture.
After I graduated from high school, beside studying at home, I made an online shop on a social website for to get some pocket money.
You should practice every sentence 10 times. Speak it aloud while you type it, and type each sentence 10 times. That is how you will remember the correct English grammar. I also think the essay should be all about the articles you have read online and in architecture journals, and it should be all about your plan for the next few years you will spend in this school.
:-)
