Middle school for me was not exactly how I expected it !

Rayvon Washington
2/6/13
English 101-051
Dr. Asher

Middle school for me was not exactly how I expected it go coming from an elementary school where things have been going good for me Staying out of trouble and just having an all-round fun experience in school It all changed when I came to Hubbard middle school it's like my whole life just changed around. When I was in elementary school I never would be late to school but in middle school I was late like crazy; it was just the simple things at first that made me notice that I was growing up and that things were changing. Meeting new friends good and bad added on to how I acted which was not so good.

The first time I got in trouble in middle school was for fighting. it all started out in 6th grade when I was in my English class and me and this kid would always argue and until this day I still can't remember why we fought, but when I walked out the class he came to me and wanted to fight right there so we did. We fought for a good 3 minutes before security came and I got suspended for three days. But that was only the beginning that school year I fought the same boy two times and the school still kept us in the same class. I lost my first school trip to the liberty science center and lost mostly every single one after that. When the school would go on a trip kids were left behind who couldn't go or didn't get there permission slips signed. When the teachers weren't in school I still managed to get in trouble, running from security guards, walking the halls, and I got detention most times and didn't serve them.

What made middle school the worst was when I was in eighth grade. I will never forget the day when I almost got expelled and it was all over a brush. I was in class and I had my brush on my desk then the teacher walked by and took it for no apparent reason. So I asked her, "why did you take my brush" and she mumbled so that's when I reached for my brush since it on her clipboard and then she yells, "You touched my bussums" and ran into the hallway calling security yelling it again. The whole class seen me not even touch her and said she was lying but hey who listens to kids. That day the school almost expelled me but instead suspended me for a week and a half, my parents had to come in for a meeting, and I couldn't walk for graduation. That was the worst day in middle school ever.

I've learned that being bad really wasn't my thing I had to make a change in myself to make my family happy and not always hear bad news about me in school so when I came Plainfield high school I changed my ways it was a fresh start for me. I would always stay after school in programs that would keep my grades up and which it did because I was on the honor roll. Also during high school I played a lot of sports to stay active and keep me out of trouble. I was on the golf team, wrestling team, track team, and tennis team for my school. I was in the yearbook as thee class clown, most funniest, and most dramatic and received awards for perfect attendance and that was a great improvement in myself because I never got suspended in high school than in middle school were I missed multiple days. Now that I am in college people couldn't even tell that I once was a bad student. They now see me as a cool guy that's into his work and knows what he wants to do with his life.

Throughout all my years in school and all the events that I experienced I noticed that if I did not change up my ways I would've got in some serious trouble or even worse. It was not even worth it; I can say that the main reason that I had to make a change was so that people won't always see me as some bad guy and wouldn't want to hang around and to make my family happy and only hear good things about me.

It is a nice essay, you may need to expand a little more on the 6th grade fight. How it happened, maybe what actions or words lead up to the fight. I would also check grammar on your essay. read through it again. Get a spell checker or have an instructor or friend read it.

It is a good essay, it reminded me of issues I had in school.
It also makes me realize that I to have changed considerably since then. I am going to college now to 20 years after high school and I know I am a better student than I was then.

thanks for the advice and the help im gonna go over it again with the things you said I needed to revise

Well there is some issue with the flow of this sentence; It's find until to the point I have highlighted. "go coming from" sounds odd :(

Also I noticed you dont have full-stop punctuation in your paras that makes very difficult for us to follow your essay :(


... rather than using "good and bad" to differentiate your friends, I wish you better present it differently. For example;
Meeting new friends of diverse backgrounds


The first time I got into a deep trouble in middle school was a fight.