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"million thoughts to pressure me" - FSU essay intro comments/suggestions

pilla2008 /  
Oct 9, 2008   #1
For almost one hundred years, the Latin words, "Vires, Artes, Mores" have been the guiding philosophy behind Florida State University.

I must admit I gave this prompt a lot of thought before starting to actually write.While reflecting on the words "vires,artes and mores," exemplified on my steadfast eighteen years of existence I found I could write far beyond the 500 words permitted. I actually thanked God for that, it made me realize I poses an inventory of life shaping experiences;

having lived in three countries and possessing a strong driven life based on my christian faith as well as my persistence in pursuing a career in International affairs. A career project that has been evolving with me along my journey. A dream that awoke progressively as I was more and more exposed to my three nations, and to the wonderful people I would meet.

Mores to me is the key of the three for I believe having a strong character as a base is what will guide you to also posses strength to pursue anything and the strength to live out your principles everyday.

I found I use my mores more often than I realize. In my heaviest place of responsibility as a camera shared for the media t.v production team of my church, I find character is a key element in team working under pressure in a tight time schedule. It allows me to be able to concentrate and to focus on what comes ahead regardless of emotions. I believe is learning to control oneself. I find this also helpful in my studies, being able to concentrate and not loose my focus although I always have a million thoughts to pressure me in my head.
beccaboo3290 2 / 5  
Oct 9, 2008   #2
That's cool you're a Christian too! I'm applying to FSU as well. It's my top choice. :)
That's so exciting , living in three different countries. I have never even been on an airplane, much less out of the country. lol
I think your essay has lots of potential, but there are quite a few grammatical errors. The concepts and ideas are great though. Good luck! :)

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