Suggestions/Grammar fixes please?
Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (150 words or fewer).
Everybody is human, and no one deserves to have that title taken away from him or her. This has been my motto for the past 4 years that I have served in a ministry at my church called KLEMA. A ministry to serve the disabled people of my church, KLEMA has taught me patience and humility to better serve my disabled friends. Taking care of my personal "buddy" each week, I have learned the value of a human life and how precious it is. Through the praise time that I lead through playing guitar and singing, I can see the joyous time that my friends share, which I long for everybody to experience. People, with or without disabilities, are all the same and deserve to be treated equally with the same unalienable rights every human deserves.
I think the first sentence can be revised to "everyone has equal chance in life..." Of course we know everybody is human :) the equal part is what we usually emphasizes on.
You don't really need to say human life. You can just say "I have learned to appreaciate life more because of how precious it is."
Other than that, it sounds good to me :) Hope you can read mine also!
Thanks so much! I changed it (:
As a person with disabilities I find myself discriminated against because of my appearance. It's great that you are working to make things better for others. I suffer physically but, it does not stop me from volunteering to shop for the blind, assisting the elderly with different health remedies for their ailments. I often give shelter to those displaced by tragedy. More people in the world should learn from your example.