Florida state university is more than just a world-class academic institution preparing you for a future carrier. We are a caring community of well-rounded individualswho embarce leadership, learning, service, and global awareness. With this in mind which of this characteristics appeals most to you and why?
As Jack Nicholson once said "The minute that you're not learning I believe you're dead", we start learning since the moment that we are born, and we will only stop until our brain can take no more and perishes with us. Without knowledge there truly wouldn't be an us, because by learning we adapt and by adapting we survive. In our time the new disadvantaged will be those that cannot learn, those that don't want to, this people will sink, being unable to change and adapt to our changing world, but learning isn't just about getting by in this world. Learning is what makes us humans, we are a curious species, it is a trait that has gotten us to where we are today, but although we are all inquisitive, some us just decide to leave those everlasting questions to the side and keep on living with the doubt. When I was 11 my mother was finally granted with the amazing opportunity to move to the United States from Cuba, as we where in the airplane arriving to Miami I could see the entire shape of the city because of all the colorful bright lights emanating from the buildings and busy streets down below, I thought to my self as the airplane was descending how I was going to make it in what for me was a whole new world, different language, different culture and most of all how I was going to make it in the country of the typical white man with blond hair and blue eyes that would always go photograph my friends and I in our classrooms as if he had never seen such thing. Because I had always had such a desire for learning I would always pay attention is the English language class taught at the school in my country so when I started on my first day in an American school I was able to say in broken up English what my name was, ask for permission to go to the restroom, and ask where a place was located, but nothing more, I couldn't understand a thing, and because of my appearance and lack of understanding I was bullied by teachers, students, and even fellow ESOL classmates, I was pushed, beaten up and worst of all I was denied the right to fully learn since teachers would just give me the answers to everything to not have to try to explain in Spanish. After my first middle school year I got fed up, frustrated I would cry and wish to go back to my country, but there was no going back, so I decided to learn on my own, I quit watching things in Spanish and I would read in English, by my second year I knew so much that I would be kicked out of my ESOL class because I knew the answers to everything, there was no point of keeping me there. I have won the biggest battle so far in my life, learning a whole different language in order to strive. Today I keep learning, I will forever continue to learn, since I have been gifted with the thirst for knowledge, and it is such a deep thirst that it will never be satisfied, not until the day I die. FSU will help me on my journey to learn and to transmit to others my same passion, it will help me be the best I can be, and it will teach me how to help my community reach its highest potential.
and we will only stop until when our brains can take learn no more and we perish. with us
Without knowledge there truly wouldn't be a way of bringing meaning to our lives an us , because by learning we adapt and by adapting we survive. This is all very astute, but I think you need to revise it so that these observations are not only about learning-in-general but also specifically about the unique values of FSU. How can you make it specifically oriented toward FSU?
When I was 11 my mother was finally granted ...I couldn't understand a thing, and ...
because of my appearance and lack of understanding I was bullied by teachers, students, and even fellow ESOL classmates, I was pushed, beaten up and worst of all I was denied...---Okay, your writing got very inspired and impressive here at this part. Please separate the writing into a few paragraphs and make sure each paragraph begins with a PARAGRAPH TOPIC SENTENCE.
FSU will help me on my journey to learn and to transmit to others my same passion, it will ---This is nicely written, but it is too general. You could say the same thing about any school. What makes FSU different? What makes it better for your particular interests than any other school can be?
: )
When I was 11 my mother was finally granted with the amazing opportunity to move to the United States from Cuba, as we where in the airplane arriving to Miami I could see the entire shape of the city because of all the colorful bright lights emanating from the buildings and busy streets down below, I thought to my self as the airplane was descending how I was going to make it in what for me was a whole new world, different language, different culture and most of all how I was going to make it in the country of the typical white man with blond hair and blue eyes that would always go photograph my friends and I in our classrooms as if he had never seen such thing.
This is a huge run on sentence & had errors so try doing it like so:
When I was eleven , my mother was finally granted with the amazing opportunity to move to the United States from Cuba. As we were in the airplane arriving to Miami, I could see the entire shape of the city because of all the colorful bright lights emanating from the buildings and busy streets down below. I thought to my self as the airplane was descending how I was going to make it in what was for me, a whole new world. Miami had a different language, culture and most of all appearance. How was I going to make it in the country of the typical white man with blonde hair and blue eyes?
