A 500-word biography that outlines your educational and extracurricular interests. Please include an explanation of why you wish to participate in the International Baccalaureate program and what you believe you could contribute.
Please give some advice to what I wrote. I am in serious trouble. I did not do so well on the previous term so its going to show up badly this paper and the test are the only cards i can play now. Please also see if you could make it a little more descriptive but at the same time shorter. Thanks a lot.
Here it is:
On the dawn of October 21st, 1994, all was silent. Everyone was still in their own dreams. But in a hospital, there was a frenzy of activities. It was a miracle which doctors witness every so often. The birth of a new child.
Yep you guessed it. That child was me. I was born, on the rainy morning of October 21st, 1994. I was wrapped in cloth, carried by a nurse, sucking on my thumb, not knowing the incredible path in life God had chosen for me.
Ever since I was a little boy, my family moved around a lot. At the age of 4, we moved from China, where I was born, to England. There we lived for a year or so. There, we moved to Singapore. We spent eight years there, in which I pretty much grew into a teenager. Then, about a year ago, we packed up our luggage once more, and moved to Canada. All this moving around caused me to become deeply interested in cultures and history. After all, whenever we moved to a new place, I got to trace its cultures and customs. Then I wanted to learn more. First it was only Chinese and Asian history. Then I became curious with European history as well. Now that we moved to Canada, I have found interest in Canadian history too. All this, with a good memory, has ensured me an "A" in social studies all the way till the end of grade 8.
As I grew up, my parents gave me tough math questions to do. As a result, I found a deep interest in Math as well. When I am free, I'll constantly look for math questions to challenge myself.
My main hobby has always been reading. From science fiction to historical novels, from biographies to study guides, I loved to read all of them. You could never see me without a book in my bag, no matter what the occasion. As for sports, I enjoy tabletennis, cross country running, and taekwondo. Thanks to long hours of practice, I secured a silver medal for sparing in the Master Cup taekwondo Championships. It was one of the proudest achievements in my life.
I also have a deep interest in music. I began learning to play the piano at the age of 7 and recently secured my grade 7 certificate. After I came to Canada, I also learned to play guitar and drums. Many a time I faced struggles trying to learn a new piece on the piano or enduring pain on my fingers while playing the guitar. But I persevered. Thus, whenever I am faced with a setback in my studies, I would think to myself "This is nothing compared to learning how to play the guitar from scratch!" and I would be able to pull through.
Ultimately, I have a love for learning. As far as my memory goes, I had an unquenchable thirst for knowledge. This thirst for knowledge made me very curious about the IB program. I realize that this is an opportunity for me to be challenged not just at a district or national level, but on international standards.
Thus, like a knight searching for the Holy Grail, like a treasure hunter looking for lost gold, I am looking to IB as a new source for gaining knowledge. To me, IB is a fountain that would quench my thirst for knowledge, just for the time being.
There we lived for a year or so. Then , we moved to Singapore.
I suggest that you begin and end with a meaningful idea about why you want to do the International Baccalaureate program and "what you believe you could contribute." That is an important part of the prompt, and you do not respond very much to it. Can you answer that question at the beginning, and then refer back to it at the end?
