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MIT short essays "activity for pleasure" and "worst challenge"


ahmad999 3 / 6  
Dec 30, 2011   #1
please critique whether my responses make sense .i mean understandable.
also please check it for grammar because i am not good at it.i seems there are redundant phrases .but i dont know how to screw them

all kind of comments are welcomed
help me with mine , i will read yours...

We know you lead a busy life, full of activities, many of which are required of you. Tell us about something you do for the pleasure of it. (*)(100 words or fewer)

In my leisure time ,i just sneak out of my house for a casual walk in the city streets mostly at night. People in my mohalla have become familiar with my routine and even dogs don't mind being disturbed by my steps.I wander in the convoluted and picturesque streets of my city Lahore_once referred to as the Garden of Mughals.For me ,stepping into its winding lanes is like stepping back in time.The intensity of nostalgic feelings while sipping traditional Kashmiri pink tea in the nightly symphony of lights in some antique kiosk while observing the artistic grandeur's of ages old structures is simply unbearable.The peculiar smell of the city's ancient soil take me to an ecstatic world, free from the restrictions of space of time.

Tell us about the most significant challenge you've faced or something important that didn't go according to plan. How did you manage the situation? (200-250 words)

A flash from my childhood, the result announcement day of my two class .I had obtained an overall first position and was extremely happy . But wait...my mother was looking at me somewhat worried while talking with my class teacher. Later I came to know my teacher was telling her about my attitude in the class;an extremely careless one.

Another flashback. Morning ,27 January 2011 . I went to the SAT test centre, already late.The administrator hurriedly took my passport, matched my photo but then frowned "WHATS THIS?" ,comparing my circled name on the admission ticket with that on passport. The names were not same on the two. "you are not allowed to take the test" , said the person with a spot face. And I was not.

January test date was the last possible test date for which I registered for MIT application 2010,and no tests meant straight rejection .I was split and broken .I wept bitterly for days. This was the worst dilemma for me until I realized that I crushed my dreams with my own hands: my own carelessness.

I changed my routine this time. I managed to keep myself busy in useful activities ,started doing extra chores around the house, helped mother in the kitchen and taught individual tuitions ,first time did an internship. Contrary to my previous 11th hour application filling and registration of the last possible sat test date , I started early and also registered for tests on early date. Right now if someone would asked me how I am preparing for my application , I would say "yes I am preparing for it. and preparing for it carefully " .
jult94 3 / 3  
Dec 30, 2011   #2
I think that your acitivity essay is great. You evaluate such a simple action but makes the reader continue to read. :)
OP ahmad999 3 / 6  
Dec 30, 2011   #3
thank you.can you help me with the second one.do i need to tune it???
CheesyCake 4 / 14  
Dec 30, 2011   #4
yeah its better if you tune it in


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