Essay B Describe the world you come from, for example your family, clubs, school, community, city, or town. How has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations?
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1998. It was silent on the street. The sun just went down and the sky was turning form azure to navy blue. Swish, wind began to breeze, trees in the shade alongside the road swaying. The faint streetlights were left alone as few people could be seen. In the distance, a sedan drove quietly pass the intersection while a thin laughing erupted from the neighborhood near the road. Before the Chinese New year, in the freezing January of Canton, we were on our way home.
I stared at my father's back. Sitting on the back of the bicycle, I could experience his heart beat as well as body heat. Breathing heavily, he went up a slope. Whoosh, the things we brought in the grocery clattered as the bicycle went against the wind. I kept my silence, not knowing what to say. It was awkward. Since I was six, this was the first time my father and I spent together.
Before he left, the last time we were on our own was on a ferry, coming back from the adult school he was then attending. Watching the waves of Pearl River with excitement, I didn't care much when he told me he's leaving for a place called MIT. And life didn't change much until I was taken to live with my grandparents because mom left and joined him. In Hohhot, Inner Mongolia, I blushed when being asked where my parents are. During the parent-teacher conference I had to ask my uncle to attend so the teacher wouldn't bring up some awkward questions. From time to time, I had to explain to other kids why I live with my grandparents.
It took me a decade to completely grasp my father's story-the ruthless competition in adult world, and the courage and strength he needed to endure to leave his only child for two years. During the early 90's, a nation-wide tide of "studying abroad" swept China. The enormous population with the very limited job opportunity resulted in the intensely cruel competition. Determined to bring welfare to the family, my father refused to be lagged behind. As a young professor who barely spoke English, he went to adult school, preparing himself with students much younger than he was. Mocked yet undaunted, he applied to study at MIT, fighting against all odds.
He said he faced the greatest dilemma in his life upon knowing his acceptance. Among different paths, he chose the hardest one. Instead of settling down in America and making the whole family immigrants, he returned to his motherland finishing his study. Years after his return, I'm only too happy to see he designed two sports facilities for the Beijing Olympic. All his endeavour and sacrifice finally paid-off.
Years ago, my father gave me a paperweight with a brass seal of MIT embedded onto it. I placed the paperweight in front of the lamp on the desktop as a source of inspiration: it represents the virtue of perseverance my father has demonstrated. Though parting for two years, my father influenced me most by teaching me an ancient faith that has motivated generations of ordinary Chinese to reach beyond oneself: responsibility-not only for oneself, one's family, but also for a society, and the world.
I just finished the essay and the deadline is tomorrow!!!
Please critique me...
I borrowed some of the sentence structure from a powerful essay (too powerful,,too perfect) I read. I'll rephrase those before I submit.
From time to time, I had to explain to other kids why I lived with my grandparents.
For the welfare of his family, my father refused to lag behind.
He said he faced the greatest dilemma in his life upon learning of his acceptance.
Instead of settling down in America and making the whole family immigrants, he returned to his motherland to finish his studies.
All his endeavors and sacrifice finally paid-off.
Nice essay, and good ending.
Good luck in school!
:)
