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MIT short essays. Attribute of personality, my world, significant challenge.


Shilay 5 / 12 1  
Jan 1, 2014   #1
What attribute of your personality are you most proud of, and how has it impacted your life so far? This could be your creativity, effective leadership, sense of humor, integrity, or anything else you'd like to tell us about. (200-250 words)

Meybe a perseverance? O, or an optimism?
But how many times I have met obstacles until I started to face them with a smile? I was broken after loosing in a contest for the clay angel in primary school, or when I forgot the text during my first speach. It took me a long time until I decided to just do my best, so even failure could be glorious.

Ok, so a leadership.
No, in the early years of education effective cooperation used to be challenging for me. I was not a born leader - I learnt it in small steps. When I have became a leader of my theatre group I used to dictate them all decisions. Only after many unnecessary mistakes I realized, how important part of the success is respect for subordinates and teamwork.

Actually, even compassion is something I had yet to learn...
There were times when my friends needed help, but I just did not know how to comfort them - something so intuitive for many people. Then I was stopping seeing any person, that seemed to be sad, or scared. And I started to learn how to support them - very clumsy at first, sometimes embarrasing them more than helping; but with time I got better.

I started with an intention to write about a quality that distinguished me from the day I was born. But after a short deliberation I had to negate any of my present qualities

So I wrote about open-mindedness. I guess most of the MIT prospective students posses natural perseverance, compassion and learedship skills from the earliest years of their education. Well, I am not one of them; I had yet to learn any of these features. But luckilly I wanted to - and this humidity towards my weaknesses and willingness to change impated my life the most.

Describe the world you come from; for example, your family, clubs, school, community, city, or town. How has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations? (200-250 words)

People visiting this small gallery in Jerusalem show moderate interest; the items displayed are beautiful, but there is no shortage of beautiful works of crafts in Israel. Until the visitors learn about the unusual circumstances in which these items were produced; then a gasp of astonishment follows.

I am standing by sixty-year-old Shabi - one of the craftswomen who created them - and conveying her the customers responses by signs on her hand. The woman gives us a warm smile.


Shabi is deaf-blind, as everyone in the factory. Despite the fact that she cannot see or hear, she is still capable of creating wonderful works.

I worked with Shabi and other members of her community in a small manufactory in Israel, poviding deaf-blind people all the means necessary for them to work and gain fair income, as a part of my gap-year-volunteering-plan. Before my arrival, I did not know how should I behave in front of them; but instead of poor, disadvantaged people, I met enthusiastic individuals, leading normal, active lives. Since nature took away a substantial part of their abilities, they use what they have to the fullest. They enjoy every day; work, create, and develop.

Over time, their small but exciting world came to be my world as well. Shabi became a role model and inspiration for me to show enthusiasm in everything I do. Today I would like to share the same enthusiasm with my surroundings. If those people can create such great things, then what, in fact, is each of us capable of?

Tell us about the most significant challenge you've faced or something important that didn't go according to plan. How did you manage the situation? (200-250 words)

If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic!

The Eastern Europe has held on to the same schemes of teaching for years; learning by heart the ready-made solutions and aiming for the "perfect student" model. For the word-blind children malajusted to scheme, it makes the whole education a significant challenge.

Whenever I solved the task in a wrong, according to teachers, way, they saw it as a deliberate insubordination. With inreased difficulty, they were convinced I just did not try. Too short time for finishing tests resulted in poor grades.

Therefore, when immersing myself in natural science books I expressed a juvenile dream: "I want to be a scientist!", then my teachers were shaking their heads with disapproval. Their statement was clear: I did not fit in, and that made me stupid. So whenever I saw my future-self in my mind, in a laboratory coat and goggles, serious doubts have come over me.

Until I delved into the biographies of groundbreaking physicists of the last centuries. "James Maxwell suffered from dyslexia? How is that possible? And Michael Faraday also ... as well as Nikola Tesla, and even Einstein! But it means that ..."

Then I saw the other, surprisingly bright side of dyslexia - a lateral reasoning, love for complexity and more than anything passionate curiosity. I started to work independently, in my very own way, and take part in projects and competitions which reward the non-schematic solutions, not punish. My world began to change slowly, convincing me, and than others, that my way toward studying physics just begin - not despite dyslexia, but because of that. If those remarkable individuals managed to overcome their limitations and turn them into the power of change that shaped modern science, how could I just give up?

This is a half of MIT essays, all of them are too long. And the deadline is dangerously near.
Could you please evaluate critically both content and language, and suggest how to make them shorter?
I am also afraid that my "attribute of personality" answer may be risky. Should I write something more standard?
fiftyskye 4 / 14  
Jan 1, 2014   #2
Ok, so a leadership.
No, because in the early years of education, effective cooperation used to be challenging for me.

When I have became a leader of my theatre group I used to dictate them all decisions. Only after many unnecessary mistakes, I realized, how important part of the success is respect for subordinates and teamwork. Is respect important for the subordinates? No, for you. So I suggest : how respect for subordinates and teamork are such important forwardes to success.

Then I was stopping seeing I don't get it any person, that seemed to be sad, or scared. And I started to learn how to support them - very clumsy at first, sometimes embarrasing them more than helping; but with time I got better.

I hope I was useful and again, these are only suggestions.

Good luck :)
plee24 3 / 21 8  
Jan 1, 2014   #3
The format to your first essay is interesting, but it is too risky. Floating between several qualities is not a good idea. Answer the question and choose ONE quality. If open-mindedness is your greatest quality, then write about that.
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Jan 1, 2014   #4
I generally take the below as the guidance to answer this prompt - "The World you come from "
- "World" is a versatile term. The prompt gives "your family, community and school" as examples of possible "worlds," but they are just three examples. Where is it that you truly live? What really makes up your "world"? Is it your team? The local animal shelter? Your grandmother's kitchen table? Your church? The pages of a book? Someplace where your imagination likes to wander?

This particular community can fit in with this prompt, but you need to present it to make them feel that you truly that you live in there. Your response should revolve around you, not around Shabi or any other person. Otherwise your response would sound like answering for a question on extra curricular activities.


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