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MIT Help: "Self-motivation"; "Being Lebanese"; "Overcoming an Injury"

ramiss 3 / 4  
Dec 31, 2010   #1
Hey, I really need to touch up on all of these and make sure they flow nicely. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

What attribute of your personality are you most proud of, and how has it impacted your life so far? This could be your creativity, effective leadership, sense of humor, integrity, or anything else you'd like to tell us about. (*) (200-250 words)

As a young child, I purchased books with my allowance and assembled Legos without instructions. Growing up, I have not changed much, simply replacing my books with musical instruments and Legos with internships. I have always been propelled by my self-motivation with a sense of independence. Decisions I make and paths I pursue are centered on my interests and aspirations.

My academic self-drive started with the GATE program in Elementary school. I would then take part in a new Academy program in which 4th and 5th graders would spend an extra hour a day and two weeks over the summer. Subsequently, I would continue on as the first generation to complete a 6th-8th grade Academy featuring a month of extra summer classes. In high school, I continued my diligence by taking multiple AP, extra Arabic and after school classes while also partaking in three sports.

My love for music would take hold my sophomore year. That passion fueled by my motivation would bring me to the six strings of my Father's old classic guitar. I was determined and continued to teach myself how to play the guitar and a year later, the keyboard. Currently I have augmented that fervor into learning song production.

From my Bioshaft and upcoming Northrop Grumman internship to my desire to become an environmental engineer, I have the power to achieve. All it takes is to continue my means of self-motivation.

Describe the world you come from; for example, your family, clubs, school, community, city, or town. How has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations?(*) (200-250 words)

War had broken out in Lebanon. In the midst of the uncontrolled violence, my entire family was trapped in the capital of Beirut, but would be able to escape by taxi through Syria. Within me, the fear began to be overtaken by a disgusted hate towards my nationality.

All the while I felt more disconnected with my culture, wanting to become less Lebanese. I suppressed speaking Arabic and took "whitewashed" as a compliment.

Those feelings would only waver three years later, when I was taken to a Lebanese festival. Feeling like an outcast within my own self, I struggled with a language I had once been fluent in and could not connect with my people. No longer wanting that feeling, I flipped on my cultural switch, and followed my instincts: I grabbed the hands of the people in the Dabke line, nearly tripping over them with my amateurish steps; I savored the taste of familiar foods; and I became persistent with my Arabic.

Since the 2006 war, Lebanon has rebuilt its elegant downtown area and cities. My people have continuously defended themselves and their watan, or country. Their resilience is my aspiration. When I call myself Lebanese, a meaningful viscosity flows with my pride. My people inspire me to be proud of who I am and to carry on the resiliency of my heritage. I want to prove to others that being Middle-Eastern is not what is depicted by the media, but rather a modern story of a prejudiced people.

Tell us about the most significant challenge you've faced or something important that didn't go according to plan. How did you manage the situation?(*) (200-250 words)

I lined up, awaiting the Quarterback's cue. Two "huts" would rush me into a sprint; a cut; a leap; a catch. Then in mid-air, I was jerked backwards, twisting awkwardly and landing with all my weight on my left knee. I curled into a ball, pain racing up my leg.

Twice I would return to practice after that varsity passing league game, naively heeding the phrase, "Shake it off." A simple agility drill in August provoked the "pop" that would end my high school Football and Track career. After receiving the MRI results that confirmed a torn ACL, I began preparing for surgery. Thirty minute stationary bike exercises became a weekly routine.

Without three hour practices, I had time to pursue my hobbies and other extracurricular activities. Being a music fanatic, I spent more time teaching myself guitar and keyboard. Eventually I started learning song production. Yet, the most significant outcome became my increased involvement as a BioShaft intern. I visited the office in Anaheim more frequently, assisting with the financials and inputting data on Quickbooks. Additionally, I sat in on meetings with clients and prospective company mergers, observing and learning the environmental technology and the treatment process. On one occasion I was even able to help present the BioShaft system to the Mazatlan International Center.

I regarded my injury as blessing me with more leisure. It gave me an opportunity to pursue my interests, and ultimately to experience an internship that would inspire me to become an environmental engineer.

iceui2 - / 70  
Dec 31, 2010   #2
Your "most significant challenge" essay is very cliche - it doesn't stand out. I would try using something unique.

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