MIT Pleasure Essay & Field of Study Essay

We know you lead a busy life, full of activities, many of which are required of you. Tell us about something you do for the pleasure of it. (*)(100 words or fewer)

Every Saturday, I wait eagerly in my studio for the thunderous stomps of children running up my side door for weekly art classes. Some of my fondest memories come from teaching art to those youngsters - creating murals, sketching toes, keeping Andy and Cody on task and helping Karla win at a local contest. There is a certain inner satisfaction and delight I get from teaching that I know I would never experience from just learning. I charge a small fee, at the insistence of the mothers, but really, I teach art simply for the pleasure that comes from it.

Although you may not yet know what you want to major in, which department or program at MIT appeals to you and why? (*) (100 words or fewer)

The day I realized architecture was the best fit for me was also the day that I knew MIT was where I wanted to study. Not only does MIT harbor crème-de-la-crème instructors of the design field, but it also has some of the most architecturally interesting buildings - from the Great Dome to Gehry's Stata Center - that shape a campus only inviting further investigation. MIT's strong focus in innovation and technology makes its architecture department stand out from that of all others, as it offers a greater emphasis on practicality rather than pure aesthetics, addressing significant issues to building in today's economy.

The first essay is strong, although I'd like to see you excise precious phrases like "a certain..."

The second essay is problematic. I'm not sure that you quite answer the question. I'd like you to find a way to say more about why you and the MIT architecture program are a good match.

To make room, excise this:


and this:


and this:

I rewrote a great deal of it

what do you think?

We know you lead a busy life, full of activities, many of which are required of you. Tell us about something you do for the pleasure of it. (*)(100 words or fewer)

The day I realized architecture was the best fit for me was also the day I knew MIT was where I wanted to study. The Department of Architecture appeals greatly to me because architecture at MIT is noted for its integration with other disciplines, focus on contemporary ideas, and adaptability to the modernizing society. I am passionate about art and design and am most engaged when I am studying how art, with technology, can enhance society in new ways. I believe at MIT, I will be able to broaden my creative abilities and push myself to think beyond normal conventions.