lol notice that one of the forum rules is to help THIS thread, not talk about your own...at least not before contributing
your spare time thing is nice, but I'd develop what part of technology fascinates you. you name a bunch of info sponsors...but honestly your SA reads more to me like a direct appeal to go to MIT than a personal essay...unless you convey your passion, that is
Even in future when I will be doing research of job in this field it will be challenging for me and it will keep my mind active.
try to combine this with your previous sentence
Well, your major essay doesn't talk anything about your understanding of your major. It focuses on your interest of engineering, which isn't bad, but not answering the prompt fully. I think that you ought to talk more in depth about the engineering outside your childhood fancies and actually focuses on what MIT offers. I think that the hint question behind this is: why come to MIT for your major?
Overall, I think you should be more creative. MIT is a very liberal school, and loves to see new things (they have an essay on that!) So you need to vary your sentences, make your essay feel more alive, and try using catchy starts!