Can you please tell me if I use a good concept to show my personality? Should I change it? Is the grammar good? I really need some help. Thank you.
What attribute of your personality are you most proud of, and how has it impacted your life so far? This could be your creativity, effective leadership, sense of humor, integrity, or anything else you'd like to tell us about. (*) (200-250 words)
I have three modes button in me equipped with ambitious trait. First, the musical button. Second, the learner button. Third, the dreamer button. Often, those three buttons are active at the same time. Sometimes, only two of them are. These buttons are the reasons of my personal notebooks existence.
I have three personal notebooks. First notebook contains all the words that come out of my heart when I broke up with my boyfriend or got betrayed by my friend. Each page has my written songs with one single quote or reason that inspired me to write the song. I usually put this book near my guitar or piano.
Second notebook has all the things I've learned randomly with my enthusiasm. There's a page about the way human's brain really works while learning. And there's another page that explains how most of the couple's genes are similar. There are so many things I've got from my random curiosity in it.
Third notebook keeps all the dreams I've dreamed, hologram examiner, hologram hospital, free international school for orphans, a cure for cancer, camera-eye glasses and any other crazy things. On the first page I wrote, "This world is limitless."
Those three buttons and personal notebooks have been an essential part of me. They represent who I am literally. They show the imaginary world I live in. They explain how I see things differently. After all, they are the light ray of my true colors that illuminate the sameness around
Your essay seems very fragmented and it doesn't really appeal to me as a reader. I know it's only 250 words, but perhaps you could go into more detail about just one of your "modes" or at least make the sentences less fragmented. It makes you seem not very proud of these accomplishments actually
I agree that it might be best to focus on one attribute as requested by the prompt. This would allow you to develop the essay further given the 250 limitation and develop a better flow. As it is now, it doesn't fully respond to the prompt and intruding to touch upon the topics seems rushed at the end. I would expand upon your imagination as you attribute and how it manifests itself in your notebooks. Very creative. Good luck!
