Just wanted to get some last minute feedback on this before I submitted it. I had such a difficult time with it at first, but I'm very pleased with the end product. Any/all forms of input are welcome. I sincerely appreciate this! :) Happy New Year!
Ben Franklin once said, 'All mankind is divided into three classes: those that are immovable, those that are movable, and those that move.'
Which are you?
(Please answer in 300-500 words.)
"Every object in a state of uniform motion tends to remain in that state of motion unless an external force is applied to it." Sir Isaac Newton may have seen the relationship between the Law of Inertia and basic physics, but I doubt he would have realized the significance this rule has to people as well. I never had much patience with anything relating to politics. I always believed it was a messy business; filled with crooks disguised as statesmen and an excessive amount of empty discussions. I went along with this mindset for most of my life; never paying much attention to the news or any important world issues. At first glance, my immoveable state of mind seemed to be a product of youthful ignorance; something that would not change until I grew out of adolescence and took on a more mature perspective of the world. This may have been so, if not for an unexpected force that was applied so strongly to my state of motion, it permanently changed the way I viewed the world.
The Arab Spring was a momentous event that changed the lives of millions of people across North Africa. At the time, however, I was not even aware of who Mohamed Bouazizi was. I continued to live in this bubble of ignorance, until one day I heard a piece of news that burst it; Libya began uprising as well. I am a Libyan by background, and all my extended family lives there. When I heard how the wildfire of protests had sparked in Libya as well, I was hysterical. To make matters worse, my father was in the country for business reasons, and I was beside myself with worry (later I found out he attended many of the violent protests that preceded the revolution). I no long flipped past CNN or tossed out the newspaper; I spent every waking minute outside of school reading and listening to every bit of information could get my hands on. Over the course of the revolution, I became more immersed in politics than I ever dreamed I would be. I was shocked that I actually enjoyed spending long hours mulling over debates on ABC news or searching Twitter for any snippet of information I could find. I was moved.
My interest in politics has long outgrown the obsession I had with the Libyan Revolution. Although the events that occurred in 2011 were the catalyst for my newfound passion, it has now evolved into a desire to dedicate my life to it. I now hope to become a mover; like the many who inspired me during the Arab Spring. Figures like Mohamed Bouazizi who was able to move multiple nations towards a quest for democracy, or Hillary Clinton, who was a strong leader in advocating the no-fly zone over Libya are what I aspire to become. Life is an object that is in a continuous state of motion, and the external forces that impact it do not allow for a person to stay uniform for long. It is for that reason that I cannot identify myself as distinctly immovable, movable or one who moves, but a mixture of all three; a mixture that has proven to be life changing if the right force is applied to it.
Good essay! Original, and very well-developed.
Advice:
I suggest you take outtake out "ignorance" in your 2nd paragraph. I don't know who Mohamed Bouazizi is, so I feel like you're calling me ignorant. If the adcom doesn't, s/he will feel the same, and will feel slightly offended.
" I no long..." should be "I no longer"
Consider adding a comment before "or searching Twitter."
thank you both soooo much! :)
@arunesh, if you could be so kind as to point those out it would be greatly appreciated! it's hard for me to see where i went wrong haha
Maybe in the midsection you could add in some more metaphors that tie back to the "inertia" idea. like... My thiitherto unperturbed line of motion underwent an abrupt change in direction. Or In Libia you could say that the inertial forces of the will of the people outstripped the centripetal forces that had kept them in harmony/(under control).
thats a really good idea, thank you so much! :)
... an excessive amount of empty discussions
... never payingpaid ... any important worldglobal issues
... until I grew out of adolescence andmuch lalter when I took on a more mature perspective of the world (to avoid the repetition of idea)
This maymight have...
... I became more immersed in politicsthan I ever dreamed I would be. I was shocked that I actually enjoyed spending long hours ...
--> You father was having a hard time in Libya, so how could you enjoy the act that easily? It should appear as a more sophisticated mix of feelings.
Your essay focuses on the three parts of a growth in political interest. Had me thought of metamorphosis of a butterfly, or something similar. If you could insert some sort of metaphor in, you can avoid the bland expression of move-or-not-move.
