Unanswered [9] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 5


to my mom' - Apply Texas Topic A (Inspiration)


Dgarp13 2 / 6 2  
Jan 8, 2013   #1
Hello, this is my first time posting on here and would really apreciate getting some help with my essay. I realize it's quite lengthy and am kind of lost as to what to remove. It's my first draft so I'd also like help with removing spelling/grammatical errors. Thanks in advance for any feedback!

The promt asks to write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you.

"Bang!" the door went, and with that unforgiving sound life, as I knew it, would never be that same ever again.

My parents had been disputing with each other for years now but on this night the arguing was different; it had grown tired, as had they, and my father stormed out the door, the door banging shut behind him. There, in that cold and frail house, he left my mom along with my two older brothers and I to fend the world off on our own. Life therein after was simply... difficult.

Since the very first time my mom knew she was expecting a child, she vowed to do anything she possibly could to be the best mother and at that moment it meant leaving school to devote her entire life to our then-small family. My father, on the other hand, decided he'd do all he could to provide for the family's financial needs. His income alone was enough to support the family even after we became a family of six. This way of life turned out to be quite successful, or at least it had been until my father left.

All of sudden the weight of the world was dropped on my mother's shoulders. She had three children to support at home, my oldest brother's expenses from being away at college, plus car, electricity, gas, water, and rent bills to pay. Finding a job was the clear solution however the finding of one in itself was a hassle as my mom didn't have much experience working nor did she have a degree of any sort. After a few weeks of searching, my mom was finally able to find a job. She'd be working as a housekeeper at a hotel and every so often she'd also work with a friend cleaning houses. The hassle of finding a job was over albeit the hassles of life without my dad were not.

This period of time was quite a somber one in the house. Although my parents hadn't been seeing each other eye to eye for a while now, their decision to finally let go of each other, of the home they built, surprised my brothers and I and left us feeling devastated. It didn't help to see the financial stress hovering up over our house. We were living pay check to pay check, not knowing what we'd have to give up next. I specifically remember a time when money wasn't enough to pay for our house's gas, and therefore had to either shower in icy cold water or heat up a little bit of water on the stove to bathe with, all in the middle of winter. These times were rough but there was one thing, one person, who kept us going: my mom.

My mom had to all of sudden become the sole provider of our house and although she had to take up a couple of less than favorable jobs, not once did I hear her complain. She took on this new challenge and let it know that it could not break her, and that it didn't. Life in our home changed drastically. My mom was no longer around to be with my brothers and I all the time, but regardless of her new busy schedule she always found the time to spend quality time with us. She even found the time to take care of the house, to clean, to cook for us, to wash the laundry, to kiss us goodnight every single night, all with a smile on her face. Never did she lose sight of what she had set out to be since day one: the best mom.

I am thankful that my mom was able to pull us through this tough time but I am also thankful that we went through it at all. Seeing my mom persevere through it alone, with nobody but her children by her side, gave me the courage to believe that the impossible is possible. Life will never promise a successful journey, life will throw you fastballs almost without warning, life will throw you obstacles grandeur than Mt. Everest, and when it does there are two ways to handle it: One, as if it's a burden or two, as if it's nothing more but a fresh opportunity to grow stronger. Thanks to my mom, I have the courage to face life with option number two. This way isn't always the easiest but it will forever reverberate within me throughout my entire life, in a way that I hope will one day glorify the strength and sacrifices my mom made for our family.
Turbina 1 / 11 3  
Jan 8, 2013   #2
"Bang!" the door went, and with that unforgiving sound life, as I knew it, would never be that same ever again.

My parents had been disputing with each other for years now but on this night the arguingquarrel was different; it had grown tired, as had they, and my father stormed out the door, the door banging shut behind him. There, in that cold and frail house, he left my mom along with my two olderelder brothers and I to fend the world off on our own. Life therein after was simply... difficult.

Nice writing...I do not know about the question, but your sad story is not compatible with university enrollment....
OP Dgarp13 2 / 6 2  
Jan 8, 2013   #3
Thanks for your feedback. I was actually thinking about completely changing my essay as it's way too long, and did write somewhat off topic.
andriannette 1 / 2  
Jan 22, 2013   #4
I think you should talk a little more about how you turned your mothers hardships into a life lesson. How did this impact you? You might want to explain a little more.
OP Dgarp13 2 / 6 2  
Jan 22, 2013   #5
I completely rewrote my essay and definitely made sure to write more about how she impacted ME. Thanks for the help though!


Home / Undergraduate / to my mom' - Apply Texas Topic A (Inspiration)
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳