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Mom's Daycare to Psychology; PERSONAL STATEMENT


maryam357 1 / -  
Nov 17, 2007   #1
Hi, my name is maryam and i am new to this website. i would like it if someone can look over my personal statement and tell me what i need to fix to make it better by tuesday, november 20,2007, thanks

The experience from my mom's daycare gave me the idea of pursuing a career in psychology. The thrash about becoming a psychologist came to my mind when my mother used to baby-sit at home. I used to help my mom with her daycare job. I really enjoyed nurturing the children and opening their minds to new venues. I would help the children if they had homework, gave them advices, and taught them Islamic studies, Quran, and Arabic. The children learned a lot from me and in return, I also learned from them.

Since the children responded to my teaching so well, I thought of broadening my experience and volunteering at the Sunday school. Originally I was only a teacher's aide, but I used the experience from the daycare to show how much I knew. I wanted the children for the class I aided for get the. I came up with different techniques of teaching to see which techniques worked best with the students. At times, the teacher gave me the opportunity to take over the class to see how well my techniques of teaching were. When I was given the opportunity, excitement rose over me with ideas that would start whirling in my head. I started off with the basics, reading with the children in class but saw that the children were not remembering what they learned; so I decided to come up with review games that would help them remember what they learned. I would repeat the same questions along with new ones every week for the game and saw that the children understood the lessons that was being taught and were getting good grades on their tests. The students that were quiet and shy and did not participate before, were getting involved with the class activities and were I was happy to see that the children enjoyed my techniques of teaching and were learning hastily. This encouraged me to take the next step forward to having my own class.

Now I am confidant enough to teach the class on my own, but I need formal training as a teacher to bring out my full potential abilities that would help me become more successful later on in the future. With the I want to get the best education and tools that would help me reach my goal and dream. My goal is help all those who are in need of guidance and that need someone that will support them all the way through; and my dream is to put smiles back on people faces that were lost and hidden. For me to fulfill this dream, I will put my outmost effort to
EF_Team2 1 / 1,708  
Nov 18, 2007   #2
Greetings!

I'd be happy to help with some editing suggestions!

The thrash about becoming a psychologist - I'm not sure what you were trying to say here, but "thrash" is not the right word.

I wanted the children for the class I aided for get the. - It looks like you might have lost some of this sentence in a cut-and-paste. :-)

At times, the teacher gave me the opportunity to take over the class to see how good my techniques of teaching were. [or you could say "how well my techniques worked."]

I would repeat the same questions along with new ones every week for the game and saw that the children understood the lessons that were being taught and were getting good grades on their tests. The students that were quiet and shy and did not participate before, were getting involved with the class activities and [delete were] I was happy to see that the children enjoyed my techniques of teaching and were learning quickly.

Now I am confident enough to teach the class on my own, but I need formal training as a teacher to bring out my full potential. The proper training will improve my abilities and allow me to become successful in the future. A degree in psychology will allow me to achieve my dream of putting the lost smiles back on children's faces

I did a little extra editing to the last paragraph, to streamline it a bit. I hope this helps!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com


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