on you and describe that influence.
Today I dumped my shoe box of childhood pictures out on the ground. Before me laid photos of family Christmases, my birthdays, the day in the park where I had chocolate ice cream all over my face, and pictures from our family vacations. When I looked at all of these pictures I felt happy, but at the same time I felt sadness and disappointment because when I looked at all of those pictures it was very apparent that one person was missing; my dad. The pain of growing up knowing that my father abandoned me was hard, but I'm grateful for that, because it showed me what a strong, determined, and influential person my mom is.
My mom is my greatest influence. Her determination and her work ethic inspire me most. She came from a house hold where there were 7 siblings and a lot of financial hardships. When it was time for her to go to college she worked 40 hour weeks and was paying her own way through school. She likes to joke about how she didn't "actually see me" for the first two years of my life because she would drop me off at day-care when I was asleep, then she would go to work and night classes, and pick me up when I was asleep. She worked hard so that we could live the comfortable life we live now, but dealing with me was a job of its own.
My mom had to be, both my mother and my father. Normally there is a partnership between parents where they would sit their child down and talk to them about what they've done wrong or what they've done right; In this case all of those things were my mother's responsibility. There were many times I remember walking away saying, "I never do anything right! You hate me!" When I look back on it now I can only imagine how hurt my mother must have been because she was only trying to do what parents should be doing, teaching me right from wrong.
My mother is a saint. She came to all of my field hockey, basketball, and softball games that she could. Every time I did something good she always made sure to tell me that she was proud of me. My mother's advice, her strength, her love, and her teachings will stay with me forever. I will never be able to thank my mother enough for the influence she has had on me. She is the reason I am able to write this admissions letter, she pushed me to work hard in school, and in my extracurriculars so that I would have to opportunity to apply to college. She has given me all that she can and I can only hope that I will make her proud.
You're mom is a pretty cool person. I think you mostly got only half of the prompt down.
You've described the person who has an influence on you, but you didn't get into specifics on what about her urged you do participate in stuff.
"She is the reason I am able to write this admissions letter, she pushed me to work hard in school, and in my extracurriculars so that I would have to opportunity to apply to college. She has given me all that she can and I can only hope that I will make her proud"
Maybe you can explain what extracurriculars she got you into. And talk more how you've changed because of her.
Also, give examples of how she's pushed you to work hard in school. Did she remind you to do your homework, ect, and how you've responded to that.
Remember that this essay is mostly about showing the admission peeps about you as a person (who has been influenced by x person).
I hope this helps, I don't know much about college admissions (workin' on my essay as well), so you don't have to take my advice too much. :P
