Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 4


"Mommy, I'm dying!" - Concept that intellectually excites you. QUESTBRIDGE APP


russiannuzzy95 2 / 2  
Sep 22, 2012   #1
Tell us about an experience you have had or a concept you have learned about that intellectually excites you. Why does it interest you, and what does this tell us about you? (500 Word Limit)

"Mommy, I'm dying!" I whined for the infinite time. This allergy attack was one of a billion in my lifetime and I felt horrible. I had missed so much school and days of my life because my allergies kept me down. That day my mom made an appointment with my allergist to find a solution for my sneezing. From that day forward, I started getting allergy shots to build my immunity to everything that made me feel horrible. From that day forward, I also started to ponder the human body.

The human body has interested me from a young age. The body works in so many different ways and throughout my seventeen years of life, new ideas about the body have been discovered. However, the thing that got my biggest attention as a kid and throughout my school years, were the various innovations developed to help the human body. Cures, vaccines, and prosthetics have given humans abilities to do things that were never even imaginable before. A heart transfer can save a life, a leg prosthetic can give a person a chance to run in the Olympics, and allergy shots have kept me from feeling horrible.

When I was in preschool, I would always be interested in finding out how things worked and why they worked. This train of thought kept me going through school until I eventually fell in love with science. I loved discovering new things. I was influenced by the idea that there were many more things in the world that hadn't been discovered yet. I wanted to be the one to uncover them. This notion made me pursue extra science classes in high school because I wanted to know more and more about how I could possibly pioneer something. I always thought, and still think, that I could be that doctor that performs miracle surgeries or that researcher that finds the cure for cancer.

Although I haven't been able to pursue science outside of school, I have done everything in power to excel in what is available. For me, failure is not an option and neither is perfection. I try to push the limits of what I learn. I always test my teachers on concepts even they might not understand. In science, there is almost always definite answer, but the exceptions are more interesting. My passion for science exhilarates me to such an extent that I have chosen to pursue a major in biology or biochemistry and medicine.
mdehek 1 / 2  
Sep 22, 2012   #2
I actually really enjoyed reading this! I like how you integrated your story into the main topic and I really like how you didn't just tell the story and leave it. You said other things and tied the story into the topic again and that is a really good element in this piece.

The only thing i would change is this sentence.

"From that day forward, I started getting allergy shots to build my immunity to everything that made me feel horrible."
instead i would say "against everything" in place of the word "to everything"
fantastic application!
uscuscusc 9 / 27 2  
Sep 23, 2012   #3
Its pretty good, but remember to SHOW not tell.
I always test my teachers on concepts even they might not understand
how or what would you question them?
quando04 2 / 11  
Sep 23, 2012   #4
I love the example that you used. Fantastic essay start that will have the Deans of Admission engaged to read your essay. I have an advice for you: Try to use all 500 words to specify anything that you feel needs more elaboration.


Home / Undergraduate / "Mommy, I'm dying!" - Concept that intellectually excites you. QUESTBRIDGE APP
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳