Question:briefly elaborate one of yout extra curricular activities...?
5 years ago,I decided to become a member of Mongolian Red Cross Youth by receiving offer from a nice gentleman. It was BIG challenge that changed my previous stereo-type life, in which I had no ability to concern for any other things than lesson.
Although I was considered as the best student in my class and school,I realized that there were so many people who had far more practical skills and innovative ideas than I did when entering into new community.Therefore,I started making efforts to improve myself.
Until now,I have not only participated but also organized by myself lots of volunteer and humanitarian activities. The more I joined, the stronger I obsessed into.
As a result, I have gained great amount of respect from my family members, friends, teachers, and schoolmates.I'm sure all "lessons" learned from this experience will be fruity in the future.
I'm international applicant and I need some help.this short essay is too simple or something? And give me the feedback including aptitude revision, please...