Could you please fix the grammar? I wrote this just now so it sucks real bad. And tell me if this essay actually makes sense please. I'll help with your essays too! Thanks.
University of Virginia: What work of art, music, science, mathematics, or literature has surprised, unsettled, or challenged you, and in what way? (250)
Each page swallowed me in to the thick darkness. Each page pulled me in to utmost horror. Each page drowned me in pessimism. Yet I was not able to pull myself away from it. The book, Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad strangely attracted me like a light attracting flies. I knew it was dangerous and harmful, but it strangely drew me. The book revealed the evil and hypocrisy of human through the heinous imperialism in Africa. The title itself, Heart of Darkness, gave me the impression that I was wandering through the chocking jungle to reach the heart of darkness, the gloomy truth hidden inside the layers of hypocrisy and false civility. The ultimate message, that inside our hearts resides a chained monster, permeated my brain. This message haunted me as it opened another darker perspective of human behavior. Every act seemed like there was an ulterior motive behind it, an utterly selfish motive. It made me question humanity. Is civilization created to veil the horrendous monster inside ourselves? This thought tarnished even the genuine acts of kindness to hypocritical and self-benefitting acts. However, I realized that my mind was plagued by an extremely pessimistic and erroneous outset on life. To not see the happiness and kindness that evidently exist was denying myself the sunshine in life.
1) Each page pulled me into utmost horror.
2) "it strangely drew me" - I suggest you elaborate on this statement. It is somewhat vague.
Quite an interesting essay topic...dark and altogether unique. I like it!
into is one word.
yeah well, i think it's a good essay, but the tone is really rushing, so i ended with an unfulfilled feeling. idk
@meytng: yeah I agree. It does sound rushed doesn't it :( but I don't know how to end it.. Any suggestions?
@littlechef: thanks! I did elaborate on that part and it sounds much better.
The book, Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad, strangely attracted me like a light attracting flies.
This thought tarnished even the genuine acts of kindness to hypocritical and self-benefitting acts.
I'm not sure if this is correct use of "tarnished" and "to". To me, saying something like "this thought made even the most genuine acts of kindness seem hypocritical and self-benefitting" sounds better.
You have a powerful essay here, but I feel like the ending sentence kind of peters out compared to the rest of the essay. If you can think of a more powerful way to phrase your meaning, that would really end the essay well. Man, I remember reading Heart of Darkness then watching Apocalypse Now (the movie adaptation), that scared the sh*t out of me
