I have two essays for this one, but I'm not too sure which one to use...
Here's one:
Ever since I was growing up, my family taught me my moral and ethical foundations. Whether it be from slapping my little sister or from fighting over my toys, my mother, father, and older sister would physically and orally explain to me the consequences of my actions and how a proper gentleman should act. However, though I frequently listened to their advice, often through blind obedience, there was one particular act that struck me, and even now I still refrain from committing it under any circumstance.
When I was in preschool, the teacher implemented a stamp reward system: if you obtained three stamps in one day, you get a prize (a sticker). Born and raised in a competitive house, I tried to obtain all three stamps every day; however, one day, I only got two. The reason? According to the teacher, I uttered a "naughty" word. I was distraught; even though the prize was a simple sticker, it resembled accomplishment and my good conduct. After I shamefully explained to my parents my circumstance, they calmly told me I should not ever use "bad" words. That instant, I became against the act of cursing, and I vowed never to curse in my entire life.
This promise survived through the harsh years of middle school and high school, and it still stands today. Bombarded with derogatory speech in middle school, I slowly saw my friends start to adopt the way of cursing, severely disappointing me. My best friends in elementary and middle school started drifting away after assimilating themselves into the "cool" group of kids: hormone-driven students that rashly act on impulse rather than reason. For this reason, I was sometimes made fun of for being too innocent or "clean", and the number of friends that I had dwindled.
In high school, there was plenty of profanity around as well, but the atmosphere around me was different. Rather than making fun of me for not joining the cursing bandwagon, most of my classmates respected my decision, and some even shared the same view as I did. As I matured, my church and family taught me the importance of love as a Christian and how cursing achieves nothing but deceit and hatred. I wanted to be a helpful person and still adhere to my morals.
In response to the amount of profanity that occurred at my school, I began to come up with my own clean vernacular designed for humor. Despite the initial confused looks, my friends eventually enjoyed it, and many of them started to replace their profanity with my vocabulary. People began to notice my creativity and my influence on others, and they respected me for my strongly-held ideals and morals. One of my friends even wrote about me as the most influential person in his common app essay, emphasizing that I create my own social norms and don't conform to society.
And here's another:
"I won't wash my right hand ever again!" Sadly, I was wrong. The next day, I accidentally took a shower: the saddest shower in the world. His high-five, his skin cells, washed clean off my body. I felt disconnected; now, he was just a memory.
But it wasn't all bad, I got to see the most influential symbol of E-sports (Competitive video-gaming, not very exciting to many). His name: Sean Plott. Gamer Tag: Day[9]. He had just finished casting an exciting Starcraft game between Washington University of St. Louis and Carnegie Mellon, when he ran out to the crowd for high-fives. His high-five was probably one of the most exciting moments of my life.
However, I'm not one of those hardcore fanboys; there's a justification to this enthusiasm. Sean Plott was always happy. I mean, really happy. He loved his job, his life, his surroundings; he loved everything. His relentless optimism was enviable, and his unconditional joy was what made me so fascinated in him.
I always watched his videos. Typically, Sean uploads analytical videos (he's a game caster, of course), but occasionally he throws in others that get my attention. He has compared videogame design to baseball creation, relate emotions to kittens and ninja stars,and even relate himself to the great Poseidon. But most importantly, despite his busy schedule (He spends 45 hours a week on these videos), he always presents himself with a smile on his face.
Once, a particular video caught my eye. "Being Relentlessly Positive", it was titled. I clicked on it, hoping to gain some insight. He began with his usual hilarity, cracking jokes left and right, but then introduced an influential key point: "Everything can be framed positively". To explain, he depicted an apology given by the average individual, and the contrasted that with an optimistic response. In his example, the average individual would apologize like so: "I'm so sorry that I had to get off the phone, I really didn't mean to leave so abruptly", but Sean's response is what astounded me: "Thank you so much for being so understanding. I know that you understand my circumstances, and I really appreciate how you don't hold any of these against me."
When I thought about those two responses, I noticed something. Sean's response invokes this sense of satisfaction to his target individual. As Sean puts it, "It actually makes me feel good when someone hangs up on me". Not an emotion one would expect after an abrupt hang-up. But it really opened my mind to how an optimistic view can make someone much happier.
Now, I practice this framing. People recognize me as one of the kindest guys in my senior class, and they applaud me for my endless patience. Sure, I experience hardships like any other, but now I understand how to reframe my emotions to lessen the hurt and to maximize the joy. With this new viewpoint, I can now enjoy the life I live, despite any circumstance that comes my way.
Is there anything I can improve? Which essay should I use?
Thank you!
John Li
Thank you @admissions2012, but I realized that both of these essays are not very interesting and not really up to Yale's standards, like you said.
I was thinking about using a "Letter to Roommate" essay, would this be okay?
Dear roommate,
Congrats on getting accepted! I'm John Li, and I'm looking forward to a great year with you! Here's a few things you should probably know about me.
I love to spend time gaming on the computer. You might hear me clacking away on my keyboard during an intense game of Starcraft 2, my favorite strategy game. With all the different openings and algorithms, it's basically a virtual version of chess, except more action packed. If you're a player too, perhaps we can join Yale's Starleague!
Though I'm not really a fan of sports, I do happen to like archery. Since I was young, I was fascinated with archery. My first "bow", if you could call it that, was made by me using a broken rubber band and a bent plastic pipe. The bow wasn't really strong (I shot pencils a whopping 3 feet) but I would carry it around with me everywhere, since I loved archery so much. With factors such as wind, angle, gravity, distance, it's a very analytical sport, and I love trying to calculate all these factors when I'm shooting. At Yale, I might be spending some time at the range, so if I'm gone, you know where I'm at.
I'm also quite musical, having played piano for 14 years under the direction of a crazy Russian lady. Even though she's quite harsh, she's helped me win many competitions in the state and region. Although I usually play classical music, I also love covering songs, especially videogame soundtracks. I'll probably bring a keyboard and play a few tunes from time to time, so I hope you enjoy!
I'm a heavy sleeper. I try to wake myself up by blasting my alarm clock every morning, but it usually wakes up my mother, who then angrily does the deed. Out of my family, I'm usually the last to awaken, probably because I always submit myself to the warmth of my bed. Oh yeah, I take naps nearly every day too, just so I can be united with my bed. That's something you might expect as well.
I like to think of myself as a smile-collector, someone who's easygoing and very optimistic. You can usually find me with a smile on my face, and it takes quite a lot to take that off. A lot of my high school friends characterize me as one of the nicest guys in my senior class, and it's because I enjoy making others happy. So, as long as you don't blow up my bed or break my computer, we'll be just fine.
That's all I've got! Now take notes, frame this letter, do whatever it takes to remember my little quirks. I'm looking forward to meeting you!
Sincerely,
John Li
